My Clan

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: Day 2 {2011}

2011-12-08T11:05:00.000-06:00

I'm joining a wonderful community of bloggers, celebrating the Advent season and simply writing!

Tuesday's prompt:
‘Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel’

*******

Brightly shone the moon that night
They stood locked in their embrace
He had to go away again
And tears streamed down her face

Goodbyes were never easy
Especially this time of year
He had a duty to his country
Standing strong she would not fear

She and the kids would miss him
Christmas might not be the same
They'll focus on their Saviors birth
And seeing him again

Wishing to reassure him
She whispered in his ear

"Jesus will protect you
Of that I am quite sure
And if His plans differ from ours
I'll see at the end of this earthly tour"

*******

To all of our dedicated men and women serving this great nation, I thank you. If you're away from your loved ones then I pray our Lord will give you the strength to hold on to His hope and know His love will see you home. God bless you and your families.

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: Day 1 {2011}

2011-12-06T10:17:00.006-06:00

I'm joining a wonderful community of bloggers, celebrating the Advent season and simply writing!

Our prompt for Monday's writing was an amazing photograph of snow covered trees, which can be seen here.

*******

"Mom, can we go back to Illinois?"
"No, Sweetheart, not right now. Why?"
"Because they have Christmas in Illinois."
"They have Christmas here, too, Sweetie."
"How can you have Christmas with no snow?"

The simple questions of a 4 year-old swirled in my heart for some time. The answers were easy enough to explain and she accepted them without further question and didn't ask again this year. But the conversation has stuck with me for over a year.

The truth is, it doesn't feel like Christmas without a proper Winter and the Mississippi Gulf Coast does not experience what I consider a proper Winter {especially considering when I began this post two days ago I still had my AC on}.

Growing up in Colorado I became accustom to the snow. I am a creature of change and was able to depend on the changing of seasons. I don't mind the heat as long as it's followed by the cool breezes of Autumn and the lush changing of the trees. I can easily tolerate the cold and the snow as long as the run-off uncovers the new life growing under the surface of the ice and snow.

Without these changes I feel stagnant, this leads to sadness, which leads to homesickness; where I, again, long for the Colorado and the changes of the seasons.

In our family, we celebrate Christmas as the birthday of our Savior and I understand, snow or no snow, we will celebrate and cherish the One who loves us beyond measure. But I do find it easier to get into the decorating spirit when the evergreens are blanketed in white.

My Life: Being Held in the Arms of Love

2011-11-30T09:14:00.004-06:00

I fell in love with my husband, again last night.

He had walked out of the living room and Bear drowsily walked behind him. Barely holding on to her Elmo, her head drooping to the side, as if she were too tired to hold it up.

I heard a muffled, "I want Daddy." Followed by a few moments of silence.

From around the corner, the two emerged. The not-so-little girl being held against her daddy's chest, embraced tightly by his strong arms. Her head rested perfectly on his shoulder, his head on hers.

I was amazed at the amount of love emanating from such a simple embrace.

A father holding his child.

As our Father holds us.

Goals: Accountability Update 2

2011-11-29T12:23:00.005-06:00

I missed last week and am a day behind this week, but better late than never... {Right??}

Thank you, Ally, for motivating me!

**********

Recurring goals {items needed to be completed daily, weekly or monthly}:

Read my Bible daily!
I need to remind myself why I want to do this! It is in the Word that I find peace, I find answers, I am reminded of Jesus' love for me, I'm reminded how special I am, and that no matter what, I am NEVER alone!

Create and stick to a house cleaning/maintenance schedule. Enlist the children's help. {They really do enjoy cleaning}
I have my weekly schedule written, the girls help when I ask, unfortunately I haven't kept on top of it. But it is written!

Create and stick to a prayer schedule. {Praying for specific groups of people each day}

I have it written and I'm praying!

Complete monthly budget before the beginning of the month so Josh and I can have budget meetings.
I'll be wrapping it up today so we can have December's meeting this evening.

Take weekly "field trips," even if it's just to the back yard, to study something pertaining to that week's lesson.
I'm failing at this one!

Short term goals {in no specific order}:

Finish the baby's room. {His changing table is B's dressers, thus I need to get B a new dresser!}
We have the dresser, but it is nowhere near being finished.

Organize B's schooling, still allowing for flexibility.

This is now included on my schedule!

Be debt free! {Yes, this is short term! Thanks to Dave Ramsey this should be completed within the next couple months!}

Blog more.
Slowly but surely.

Get B back on a chore/commission work schedule.
She's been working around the house I just haven't paid her, I guess I should add that money to the budget.

Beginning with the Spring semester {I have to allow some time to figure out how to be a mom of 3} take at least one class per semester.

Memorize scripture.
I'll be working on 2 Samuel 22:2-3 this week if you want to join me.

Reduce TV time! I would like to reduce the amount of evening TV time too, but I do need to discuss it with Josh {I'm sure he'll support the idea.}
Still just a little better.

Have company over, couples over for a game night or something. I've got to get over this not-quite fear of hosting.

Get on an exercise routine.

Clean out garage.

Eat out less.
Hopefully we can stick to our menu this week.

Plan a date night with my hubby! I'd like to do this monthly but with work schedules and life in general I'll accept every other month or so.
Still hasn't happened.

Reorganize all closets and storage areas in the house, make better use of them.
I started with the cleaning closet and have moved on to Baby J's room, the girl's closet is a work in progress but it is progressing.

Reduce the girls' toys to about half. I'd like to complete this before Christmas!

This is actually complete but I'm not taking it off yet because I want to reduce the toys even more!

Long term goals:

Maintain "gazelle intensity" and save up enough money for {hopefully} a 50% down payment on a house once Josh retires and figure out where we're going to live.

Finish degree.

Learn a foreign language. I'm currently learning Latin with B but would like to be fluent in a commonly spoken language as well.

********

All in all I feel that I haven't done very well but I know, progress is progress and this week will be better!

My Life: Update

2011-11-17T21:04:00.011-06:00

As I finally have some time to write I know I should be writing something profound or updating my goals but instead I'll be conducting an experiment... I'm going to attempt to write this entire post from my phone while laying in bed. So it's really just going to be a personal life update because I know all three of you are sitting on the edge of your seats, dying to know what my week has been like.

Quite honestly, its been a little rough. Managing the girls while 34 weeks without the help from my husband is proving more difficult than I had anticipated. I had put in place, events and people to help the week go faster but that ended up failing as one person after another had to cancel, thus leaving with a whole lot of alone time with my girls.

With each cancelling text and email I felt more and more alone. Each person had a very good reason but when you're hormonal and a bit lonely it's hard not to take things personally, if only briefly.

So I cried, and cried, sobbing, asking God for help. He came through {as He always will} not in the way I would have chosen, but in the form of strength, grace and He helped my girls go to sleep early and without a big fuss. Thank yo, Lord!

I've been so tired this week! B has been waking up early all week, Bear has been having issues sleep during the night, she was up at 3am yesterday and stayed for about an hour. Couple the girls sleep habits with my pregnancy and sleep doesn't seem to fit in anywhere.

But alas, I lay in my bed yawning. I think it may be time to sign off, I have an early doctor's appointment in the morning.

Goals: Accountabilty Update

2011-11-07T21:59:00.004-06:00

As part of the challenge put forth by Ally, we (Ally, Jaime and I) are checking in with each other in order to show support, please join us.

**********

Recurring goals {items needed to be completed daily, weekly or monthly}:

Read my Bible daily!
Doing pretty good, but I need to get better!

Create and stick to a house cleaning/maintenance schedule. Enlist the children's help. {They really do enjoy cleaning}
haven't yet but I have cleaned this past week! {woohoo, me!}

Create and stick to a prayer schedule. {Praying for specific groups of people each day}

Complete monthly budget before the beginning of the month so Josh and I can have budget meetings.
It wasn't completed before the first of the month but Josh and I did have our budget meeting.

Take weekly "field trips," even if it's just to the back yard, to study something pertaining to that week's lesson.
I haven't decided where we're going this week.

Short term goals {in no specific order}:

Finish the baby's room. {His changing table is B's dresser, thus I need to get B a new dresser!}
Budgeted money for the dresser so hopefully soon.

Organize B's schooling, still allowing for flexibility.

Be debt free! {Yes, this is short term! Thanks to Dave Ramsey this should be completed within the next couple months!}

Blog more.
Slowly but surely.

Get B back on a chore/commission work schedule.

Beginning with the Spring semester {I have to allow some time to figure out how to be a mom of 3} take at least one class per semester.

Memorize scripture.

Reduce TV time! I would like to reduce the amount of evening TV time too, but I do need to discuss it with Josh {I'm sure he'll support the idea.}
Getting a little better.

Have company over, couples over for a game night or something. I've got to get over this not-quite fear of hosting.

Get on an exercise routine.

Clean out garage.

Eat out less.

Plan a date night with my hubby! I'd like to do this monthly but with work schedules and life in general I'll accept every other month or so.
Hoping for this week, just need to work out a sitter.

Reorganize all closets and storage areas in the house, make better use of them.

Reduce the girls' toys to about half. I'd like to complete this before Christmas!

Long term goals:

Maintain "gazelle intensity" and save up enough money for {hopefully} a 50% down payment on a house once Josh retires and figure out where we're going to live.

Finish degree.

Learn a foreign language. I'm currently learning Latin with B but would like to be fluent in a commonly spoken language as well.

********

All in all I feel that I haven't done very well but I know, progress is progress and this week will be better!

Bigger Picture Moment: He Missed Me

2011-11-01T10:28:00.011-05:00

I've been feeling empty lately.

Going through the motions more or less; bogged down by the flesh, pregnancy, motherhood.

My prayers have been lacking.

I have not been encouraging my husband.

I have not been lifting up others.

I have not been using my God-given breath to glorify Him.

I've been feeling utterly empty.

The moment of awareness came one morning when I felt heavy, I couldn't take even one more step. The sickness and the tiredness I felt was not physical, it was spiritual. I laid on my bedroom floor, as prone as a 7 1/2 month pregnant lady can, and prayed. Knowing not what to pray for, I just prayed.

A few minutes later I was able to sit up knowing what I was supposed to do next. Within my reach was my Bible. Opening it to Psalms, I read the first chapter I came across, then the next, then several more until I finally felt I could stand back up.

I knew what God was telling me to do, come back to Him.

Seek Him.

Talk to Him.

He missed me.

Like a father misses his daughter when she doesn't call or write, He missed me.

He missed me!

I wasn't feeling empty because He had gone somewhere, I had stopped seeking, if only for a little while. I needed to find Him, seek His arms.

I was feeling empty so that He could fill me!

Fill me with His love, grace, promises, His goodness, His mercy!

All I had to do was to look, to ask.

Reading my Bible daily and spending more time in specific, intentional prayer, I have felt His peace the past few days. Oh how I've missed this peace. Life still tries to get in, the girls still act like, well, themselves, but I have my peace back. I have been hugged by my Father and my cup runneth over!

If you haven't picked up your Bible in a while, why not start with Psalm 23. It reads like a love letter in the King James version.

I am so thankful for the love letters He has given us!

Goals: A Beginning

2011-10-31T13:36:00.005-05:00

I was once a very goal oriented individual and I still enjoying finding old journals with my goals for that season of life written out. I especially enjoy discovering the goals I've accomplished.

Currently, in this stage of life {having roughly 8 weeks until my due date with baby #3} my goals have gone a bit to the wayside as I've simply been trying to survive the day to day without pulling out my hair or turning into Momma Monster with the girls act like, well, a 2 year-old and a 5 year-old. But as time is drawing near I've been needing to put pen to paper {or fingers to keys as it were} and get back on a goal track so when this little boy does make his arrival I will be {somewhat} ready.

My dear friend, Ally has proposed a goal challenge and Jaime and I are joining her. I love the support and accountability inherent in an individualized group journey.

On to my goals.

**********

Recurring goals {items needed to be completed daily, weekly or monthly}:

Read my Bible daily!

Create and stick to a house cleaning/maintenance schedule. Enlist the children's help. {They really do enjoy cleaning}

Create and stick to a prayer schedule. {Praying for specific groups of people each day}

Complete monthly budget before the beginning of the month so Josh and I can have budget meetings.

Take weekly "field trips," even if it's just to the back yard, to study something pertaining to that week's lesson.

Short term goals {in no specific order}:

Finish the baby's room. {His changing table is B's dresser, thus I need to get B a new dresser!}

Organize B's schooling, still allowing for flexibility.

Be debt free! {Yes, this is short term! Thanks to Dave Ramsey this should be completed within the next couple months!}

Blog more.

Get B back on a chore/commission work schedule.

Beginning with the Spring semester {I have to allow some time to figure out how to be a mom of 3} take at least one class per semester.

Memorize scripture.

Reduce TV time! I would like to reduce the amount of evening TV time too, but I do need to discuss it with Josh {I'm sure he'll support the idea.}

Have company over, couples over for a game night or something. I've got to get over this not-quite fear of hosting.

Get on an exercise routine.

Clean out garage.

Eat out less.

Plan a date night with my hubby! I'd like to do this monthly but with work schedules and life in general I'll accept every other month or so.

Reorganize all closets and storage areas in the house, make better use of them.

Reduce the girls' toys to about half. I'd like to complete this before Christmas!

Long term goals:

Maintain "gazelle intensity" and save up enough money for {hopefully} a 50% down payment on a house once Josh retires and figure out where we're going to live.

Finish degree.

Learn a foreign language. I'm currently learning Latin with B but would like to be fluent in a commonly spoken language as well.

Loss

2011-09-19T22:36:00.006-05:00

My husband had a birthday this past weekend.

My daughter has a birthday this week.

The difference this year is no cards will be coming from Pops, Josh's beloved grandfather.

We lost Pops last month, we really didn't loose him, he went to join his Heavenly Father and I can't blame him one bit.

But tonight when I checked the mail it dawned on me, no more cards from this amazing man.

Pops was great with his card sending. Sometimes they'd come a day or two late but he never forgot us. He had the incredible ability to find cards for "my granddaughter-in-law," "grandson and his wife," and of course, "to his great-granddaughters!" Cards I never knew were made, he'd find. And they always had the perfect sentiment or wit.

I don't think he ever sent a card without some personal inscription and I always enjoyed reading the inscriptions aloud, mostly because I could always hear his voice coming through his written words.

I will miss this gracious man, I will miss his phone calls, I will miss his cards. I will miss the way he doted on my children.

I miss you, Pops, but take comfort knowing I will get to see you again.

Writing Me: Where I'm From

2011-08-29T21:41:00.018-05:00

I'm joining Bigger Picture Blogs in a community writing project. Such perfect timing as I'm getting back into writing, I love being able to share and learn from others.

I am from the Great Plains, red earth and willow trees. The smell of spring storms looming on the horizon.

I am from purple mountain majesties, white caps looming year around. I am from columbines and aspen trees.

I am from two stories, overlooking Boulder reservoir. A trampoline dug half way into a mountain side, Panther pride and blue and gold. Homecoming floats and three hour trips to football games. From, "Kiss my paw!"

From the wind and snow. Where Halloween costumes must fit over coats and snowsuits.

I am from two loving parents, discipline, church. From reading the Bible, believing Jesus died for my sins and knowing there are not enough good deeds on Earth that can get me into Heaven

From women who put family first and men who supported them. I'm from a place where you could never hear, "I love you" enough and men are manly for saying it.

I am from siblings who watch out for each other, pick on one another, tickle you until you pee. I'm from a sister who is my best friend and reassures me that I can handle these children and God loves me no matter what!

From the tight-knit, always have a place to go family. From imperfection, dysfunction, humor, and utter joy.

I am from devotion to duty, from a line of patriotic defenders. Doing my part to support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America! I am from Haze Grey and Red, White and Blue!

Just Writing

2011-08-28T17:03:00.005-05:00

I've missed writing, missed composing poems.

I find myself here next to a sleeping child, my mother-in-law entertaining the other, new life kicking inside and I want to write.

I want to catch up on all the lost words, months of words, excitement, happenings. But it just isn't feasible, too much was missed, too much time gone by.

Time continues to carry on while I sit and watch. Watch the children grow, watch my stomach grow.

The ebb and flow of life carries on, hopefully I'll be able to put some of it into words.

Adventures in Parenting: Learning or Attempting To

2011-08-26T22:06:00.005-05:00

I find myself at a loss.

It took me several years to learn how B learns and specifically, how to teach her and get her to listen.

I now find myself staring down a similar barrel with Bear. I'm learning, quickly, what doesn't work. While positive reenforcement motivates B, Bear could care less.

I would rather support than punish but my goodness, I can not get that kid to listen! She takes selective hearing to a whole new level. I'm to the point I'm going to have her hearing checked to rule out actual hearing loss.

So tonight I begin my research for how to learn how my child learns. Any recommendations are very welcome, weather it be books or techniques, this is my plea for help!

My Journey: A Student

2011-08-21T23:41:00.003-05:00

I recently embarked on a new journey and am thankful it ended today. I re-enrolled in college and intentionally took only one class. I figured I'd use this one class to get my feet wet and eventually take more and finish off my degree. Shortly after signing up for (or maybe just before) I found out I was pregnant with #3. Deciding to stick with my original plan, I proceeded with my class, Art 205, Art Appreciation. I was surprised a bit by the amount of time the course took on a day to day basis but balanced it well, at the beginning anyway. I was doing well up until the last couple weeks. A death in the family prompted a visit to Iowa, I was granted an extension that served me well as the house we were staying in didn't have Internet. When we got home I knew I had one week to make up two weeks worth of assignments and knew it could be done. Then this week happened, if something could have happened, it did. B's first day of school (which I knew was coming but still added a bit of stress, but that's a blog of it's own), bug bites causing swollen limbs, doctor visits, surprise duty days, you name it and something would come up. But I prayed and God got me (us, really) through it.

So, long story short, I'm a college student again although I will be taking the next two semesters off so I can learn how to be a mom of three and homeschool B. But before ling, I'll be back in the swing of things!

On a side note, I've very much missed blogging. I almost wrote that I missed writing but I've been a writing fool, it's just been centered on art history.

And I know it's been a while but it you didn't catch it, we're pregnant with #3, due in December.

Adventures in Parenting: Nursing?

2011-04-12T07:39:00.001-05:00

I just found this post, unpublished, written back in January. I'm posting it now with an update at the end just in case someone out there can find it helpful. Enjoy my adventure.

*****

It's a quarter after nine in the morning and both my children are asleep, in my bed.

This has been a long week, transitioning a snugly Bear out of our bed and into the queen size bed she shares with her sister. A move that shouldn't have been too terribly difficult is now bit exacerbated by that fact that I've stopped nursing Bear during the night.

The Back Story

She used to sleep through the night, she struggled a bit when we moved but fell back into sleeping. Then, sometime in October, she started wanting to nurse during the night and I haven't had a full night's sleep since.

Since B made the request that she and her sister share a bed and knowing Bear is such a snuggler, I thought it was a fantastic idea! {Couple that with the overwhelming support I received when I told a few people; I was actually surprised when they told me their children used to share a bed, cool!}

So when we were gifted a king size bed, we passed our queen to the girls. They were thrilled, well, Bear was until she found out I expected her to sleep in it. She was comfortable in her routine, nurse down in Mom and Dad's bed, mysteriously wake in the middle of the night in her own bed, return to Mom and Dad's bed, nurse and go back to sleep.

A change was needed.

I started slow, having her nap in her new bed. That was fine, she didn't care where she napped as long as she could nurse down. Then, it was time for the night time move. She didn't have a problem nursing down in her bed and for the first couple nights, when she woke up and came to my room, I took her back to hers and nursed her back down, then returned to my own bed. This was short lived. I was getting even less sleep then when she was sleeping with me.

What was I going to do??

When B was her age she liked sleeping with me too. I used the "cry it out" method with her and it about killed me. I'm so thankful I had an awesome friend who let me call her at any hour because that was so terribly hard and I can't help but feel pain whenever I look at the point of my parenting life. I knew I needed to try something else with Bear.

{If you're wondering why I went from our/us to my/me, I'm really not discounting my dear husband. Thankfully, I am not flying solo on this journey with Bear as I was with B, hubby was in Africa for that, but as I'm the one not sleeping he asks me, "what will help you sleep?" and we go from there.}

{Wow, I'm all over with this one, thanks for bearing with me.}

Armed with a new idea, we prepped B and warned her. When Bear woke in the middle of the night, I would soothe and comfort, call in Daddy when needed, and be there to support her and reassure her, telling her she did not need "Mommy milk" to go to sleep.

*****

And that's where it ended. To be perfectly honest I'm not sure where we went from there. I remember a couple times having Dad try to soothe her as he didn't have "milk" but she'd just get more and more upset. I would eventually send him and B to our bed so they could get some sleep and I'd spend however long it took to get her to snuggle back to sleep. Of course I'd fall asleep in her bed.

I've since weaned my Bear; a very personal decision. I do miss it from time to time but in the end I do feel it was the right decision for her and me. I made it gradual, after we stopped the night time nursing we were down to two, before nap and before bed. I dropped the nap first and she didn't put up much resistance. She still wanted to snuggle down and I was okay with that. It was almost two months of only nursing at bedtime before I finally stopped that one, too.

The first night I didn't nurse her she slept like a dream, thank the Lord. One thing that isn't mentioned above is how much prayer went into this transition. I could not have done it without His help, His loving grace.

Nightly nursings are not missed, they've been replaced with scripture reading, Bible stories and family prayers.

My Journey: Being Thankful for the Trials

2011-02-25T14:22:00.004-06:00

1Thessalonians 5:16-18 says

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

A wonderful piece of scripture and great advise, but how often do we apply the whole writing, everyday?!

16 Be joyful always

Easy to say on the good days, but what about the days of trial? When you're down and out do you find joy in God's everyday beauty? Or are you so focused on the problem at hand that you forget to even look?

While in a depressive funk about a year and a half ago, I discovered my "joy" and such a joy they are! I discovered God had given me a gift to love and enjoy; my children are my joy! Every once in a while I do have to ask God to help me enjoy my joy.

17 Pray continually

Maybe a little easier during the difficult times in our lives, as we pray for God's help, comfort, peace, healing, etc. It's easy to remember to pray when we need His divine assistance, but what about the other times?

Philippians 4:6 tells us not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. So why shouldn't we pray for help finding that close parking spot on a rainy day when the kids are with you? Why not pray for help deciding what to feed the family?

Just recently I quietly prayed for help and safety merging in traffic. Once safely in the lane, I said, quite audibly, "thank you, Lord!" and was scoffed at. Nothing is too big or too small for God!

18 Give thanks in all circumstances

Yes, read it again, it does say ALL. That means giving thanks during the trials.

And I did, I'd give thanks for all the blessings in my life. I would remember to be thankful for my family, my health, my family's health... It wasn't until very recently that I was reminded to be thankful for the trial itself. I truly believe God does NOT punish, He is a kind and loving God. I do believe He allows things to happen to us, for us to reap what we sow. But on that note, I feel in my heart, God uses these trials to mold us, to shape us into better Christians, to bring us closer to Him who loves us.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I don't know what purpose this trial has in my life but I know God will see me through and that I will be better for it.

Happy Momma Moment: A Full Day

2011-02-20T23:35:00.007-06:00

Gems from my 4 year old.

"What do I look like, a pizza oven?!"

*****

"Don't give me that attitude."

*****

"I'm beat up real bad."

*****

A phone conversation between my mom, Yaya, and B.
Yaya- You should see Papa, he's wearing a red dress.
B- Is he pretending to be a girl?
Yaya- He fell off his high heals.
(Much giggling)
B- I wear high heals because I'm a girl.
Yaya- I don't have any high heals.
B- You can borrow Papa's!
(Much laughter)

*****

My dear B was filled with much wisdom today, more than I think a 4 year old should have. But nevertheless, I feel I got the message God was sending and I truly loved receiving inspiration from His little helper. She (and He) really perked me up after a few days (a few weeks) of a funk.

I am such a blessed Momma!

Bigger Picture Moment: Daddy

2011-01-27T20:37:00.017-06:00

My father.

My Daddy.

My Papa.

I know that my dad has given so much for his family. He's endured crazy commutes so his family could live in a quaint little mountain town. He's moved, from house to house, state to state, for reasons I may never know. He's loved us, as only a father can.

He is the perfect earthy father, given to me by my Heavenly Father.

But I don't know that I've ever truly appreciated him as much as I do now that I have my own children.

My father's an amazing man
Like none I've ever known

Strong in his convictions
Stubborn in his ways
Living life to the fullest
Each and everyday

When you need him he'll be there
To give you strength when you are weak
Guiding you throughout the day
When everything seems bleak

He raised his kids the best he could
And my how we have grown
We try to share everyday
The love that we were shown

My father is an amazing man
Of all, I say he's best
His love is everlasting
And I'm forever blessed

I love you, Daddy!

The Sunday Creative: Solace

2011-01-23T21:51:00.003-06:00

Seeking peace

Purpose

Finding a greater Love

Music dances, filling the air

Worship and Praise

Lost in a moment

Joy regained

Breathing in Life

Sharing a passion

Seeking solace

Finding Him

My Bigger Picture

2011-01-20T14:05:00.006-06:00

I'm sitting here attempting to write my Bigger Picture Moment {this is draft number three} and no matter what I write, I end up on my husband.

In my first draft, I was writing about my children and ended up writing about how supportive my husband is, especially when I'm struggling with parenting.

My second attempt at a Bigger Picture Moment, I was writing about friendship. I was lost in thought, trying to convey what happens to friendships when moving every couple years since, well, birth {in my parents defense, we moved houses a lot but we only changed school systems three times}, when my mind wandered to my husband. I've had friends come and go, some have stayed in my life while other's haven't.

My husband has played a major role in my life for almost ten years! For the first time, my best friend was with me when I moved across the world, across the Pacific and across the country.

God had a time and a place for us, we know that know. We've discovered we've been in the same place, frequented the same establishments, lived a barracks apart {twice}, and celebrated Fleet Week in the same town but never met. For those who don't know, I met my husband while we were both serving in the Middle East.

Our lives have changed with deployments, transfers, children, Christ. My "I believe there's some kind of higher power" husband is now the spiritual leader of our family. I often go to him when I can't find something in scripture. He's helped further my relationship with Christ.

Watching God work in his life has forever changed my perception.

And today, he, my amazing, spectacular, wonderful husband, is helping me see the bigger picture.

2011-01-20T09:16:00.003-06:00

Not Here. Please Lord, Not Here...

2011-01-12T21:51:00.003-06:00

Something happened this morning that is making me take pause.

I know we live in a wicked world, evil lurking EVERYWHERE, and it is by the grace of God that we are protected.

As I loaded the girls up in the van this afternoon for a jaunt to the grocery store my eyes were drawn across the street where a firetruck sat idle. Dozens of people milled around on the lawns, only a few in uniform, the rest were donned in cargo pants, polo shirts and drop down holsters. An older woman sat on the tailgate of a truck being checked by an EMT. Whatever had happened, had already happened, I saw no tension, no one being carted off in handcuffs. This was the period where adrenalin had calmed and the professionals were getting the job done.

I didn't want to think about what had been going on just across the street, I knew what had happened, but didn't want to know.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Sometimes you just don't want to know how close danger is.

How close evil is.

In my head, spin the "what ifs" and I am thankful, ever so thankful for God's loving protection. Not just for me and my family, but for the neighbor's, the people living in the surrounding condos, even for the drug dealers. Who knows what kind of damage would have been done if their concoction had failed and exploded.

For a brief moment I though we should move but then the truth came to me, no where is truly safe and you really have no idea what your neighbors are up to.

So tonight, I will hold my children a closer and pray.

And pray.

The news link.

On My Way Back

2011-01-11T14:59:00.002-06:00

I know I've been away for a while, but I have not been far.

I went for a few months utterly lacking words, what few words did come into my mind were better suited for a journal than a public document. Nothing bad, sad, or otherwise, but better left for me at a later date {I do go back and read my journals}.

I am, slowly but surely, making my way back to the blog. I finally have stories and poetry streaming out of my head, I just need to get my fingers typing a bit more.

Pondering...

2010-12-17T00:25:00.001-06:00

I know it's my first winter in the South and all, but 74 degrees on December 16th, really?!

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: Day Seven

2010-12-12T20:55:00.006-06:00

Day Seven Prompt:

“The darkness of the whole world cannot swallow the glowing of a candle.” – Robert Altinger

Photo credit: Phil Dowsing

Lost and alone
Doubt and guilt clouding every decision
Energy lacking
Depression
Darkness
So much darkness
Darkness in my head
My heart
Sadness looming
Hopeless
Scared
A prayer
A flicker of light
A flicker of hope
Searching for joy
Hearing the laughter
Smiling again
Laughing
Loving
A flicker of Light

'Twas the Write Before Christmas: Day Three

2010-12-08T22:45:00.004-06:00

Today's Prompt:

"The Bells"

That's the line that spoke to me, so just bear with me.

I watched The Polar Express with B this evening and found myself longing to hear the bell.

I don't know when I stopped believing Santa was real. My parents told us he'd stop bringing us presents if we stopped believing, so I don't remember ever telling them I knew the truth.

Or do I?

I've spent the past few years trying to teach B that Christmas isn't about presents but about the birth of Christ. I haven't put much emphasis on the chubby fellow in a red suit.

But this year, this year is different. I don't know why {and I'm not about to bore you with possibilities} but this year, I find myself wanting to believe Santa is real.

B came right out and asked if he was real. Not wanting to lie to her, I simply asked what she believed, she was happy with that.

Why can't Christmas be about the birth of our Savior and a jolly fat man? After all, the Christmas tree and Saint Nick both have Christian roots.

So I will spend the next few weeks praying for guidance and pondering Santa. I will be moved to tears by Christmas music, both secular and non. And I will be trying to hear the bells.

'Twas the Write Before Chirstmas: Day Two

2010-12-07T23:17:00.000-06:00

Bigger Picture Blogs has gone and done it, again.

They've got me writing.

How I love being a member of such a wonderful community!

They've started 'Twas the Write Before Christmas, a daily prompt to help allow some time for you, me. Something I definitely need!

I'm a day behind, but that's okay.

“Underneath the mistletoe last night…”

Stolen glances from across the room
Eyes meeting intentionally

Slowly moving in each other’s direction
Each step leading to uncertainty

Standing face to face
Cheeks flushing, hearts racing

The crowd melting away
Only two stand

Eyes locked
Two hearts bounding in time with each other

Is he going to kiss me

Should I kiss her

Lips meet
Time stands still
Warmth replaces butterflies

The Sunday Creative: Frozen

2010-12-05T00:16:00.005-06:00

Coldness descends

Chilling the heart

A bitter tongue

Anger

Betrayal

Happiness defiled

Joy waning

A world devoid of spirit

Hope vanished

Words lost in a jumbled mind

Searching for the Light

Misdirection and avoidance

the devils game

Descriptions vanished

Creativity stifled

Frozen in time

*****

My apologies for being away so long. Contrary to my poetry, life has been good, busy, but quite joyful. My girls have been keeping me busy and we've been enjoying this Advent season. We've been preparing for His coming in some of the more conventional ways {B got to tell Santa, today, that she wanted a pillow pet} and the less conventional ways {evening family prayer time and scripture reading}, it has truly been filling my soul.

I understand what it means, my cup runneth over.

I also wanted to say thank you to my sister by birth, Jenni, and my sister in Christ, Hyacynth. You both said {wrote} just what I needed to hear {read} and get me back to writing. I love you both dearly.

Words

2010-11-18T22:41:00.000-06:00

I'm a writer.

I may not be published or even any good at writing, but I am a writer.

I journal, write poetry, short stories, and yes, blog.

Words are in my heart and soul. And when my words are not flowing I feel stagnant. For me, writer's blog is an expressway to depression.

Often, when the words are not flowing, I read. Others' words will often spark some bit of creativity and my hands will be off and moving again.

So as you can tell by my lack of blogging, the words have not been flowing. So I've turned to books. I've been enjoying Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity, and while she's been speaking directly to my heart, it hasn't inspired me to write. I've also been spending a lot more time reading my bible. Even though I haven't been moved to writing, my soul has been soaking in the truths pouring out.

A friend recently asked me to join her in reading the book of John. I gladly accepted and the following morning, while drinking my coffee, I turned the delicate pages and read...

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (John 1:1 NIV)

I've had a revelation, I wasn't at a loss for words, the Word was always with me. He has great plans for me and would never leave me. In fact, even in the past, when I felt separated from God, I always knew it wasn't God who strayed, it was I that was creating the distance.

What a wonderful reminder when looking for "words." I need not look far for inspiration, God has blessed me with an abundance of inspirations, or blessings.

A Longing

2010-11-10T10:54:00.003-06:00

I long for my sister to be near. I find myself in need of her guidance and wisdom.

She is a wise woman!

I miss her hugs and her compliments. She has a way of knowing just what to say when I'm down or lost.

She prays for me, always has. She's about ten years ahead of me on her spiritual journey {this is, of course, my own perception, I'm sure she'd say differently}. God has blessed me with her in my search for discernment. Did I mention she's wise?!

As a Navy Wife, duty stations usually take us far from home and I spend an much of time missing my friends and family. Today, my sister is on my heart! And it is she I long to spend my day with.

I know, there isn't much to this writing, but this is what I need to get out there. It's been a while since I've written, blogged or otherwise, and these were the words I needed to say.

Wrapping Pink

2010-10-31T12:11:00.000-05:00

October has proven to be a very pink month.

Writing Pink {and reading so much more} has really opened my eyes. I've met, mostly via Internet, so many survivors, heard stories of triumph and loss and really, really learned.

I learned I am at risk but I can make changes.

I thought, what a better way to wrap up this month, than to share the changes I'm already making.

When I first read so much about BPAs, my mind reeled as I looked around my house and saw just how much plastic we have. I immediately began concocting plans on how I was going to rid our house of this evil. Plastic sippy cups must go, to be replaced with glass cups or stainless steel, no more eating on Tupperware plates, added to the Sams list was glass storage containers...

Then I breathed.
And again.

We're on a budget.

My plans to rid our house of plastic is going to have to be gradual. I was delighted to find out that four of the sippys we have are BPA free. I bought some BPA free plastic cups to replace the plastic cups B uses {a bit cheaper than stainless}. I will stop heating food in the microwave in the plastic storage containers we have but the glass containers will have to wait, they didn't make the cut this payday.

Exercising.

I've learned this month, if I ask my girls if they want to go with me on a walk, they are guaranteed to be game. They willingly jump into the stroller, armed with water and a couple toys, they thoroughly enjoy watching the birds in the trees and squirrels scamper away. I also learned walking a couple miles isn't that bad when the kids aren't screaming, it's actually enjoyable.

Dieting.

This is going to be a bit longer of a project since I was just eating birthday cake today. I'm not going to to into detail here for my own reasons. Thank you for understanding. {No, I'm not pregnant.}

All in all, it's been an informative month. Forgive me if I despise pink for the next several months since everything was turned pink in October. {Pink ribbons on cookies, really? And pink bubble wrap??} Although a lot of men would disagree, I will miss seeing pink in the NFL, that I did get a kick out of.

Happy November, everyone!

Diet, Exercise and Breast Cancer Prevention

2010-10-15T11:14:00.000-05:00

I am Writing Pink!

Trimming the fat, both out of your diet and off your body can do more than just decrease your waist size, it can also decrease your risks for breast cancer.

I've known for a while I need to get into shape, make exercise a norm in my life. But my reasons for wanting to live a healthier life style didn't include lowering my risk for breast cancer. I was one who thought I'd be safe since I don't have a family history of breast cancer. Through research for this article, I've learned that is very, very untrue.

Head on over to Undercover Mother for the rest of my story and read more about breast cancer prevention.

Bigger Picture Moment: Derailed Prevention Piece

2010-10-14T10:18:00.001-05:00

I am Writing Pink!

When I first began research for a diffent piece on breast cancer prevention, I found an abundance of information on how a proper diet and exercise could reduce your risk factors for developing breast cancer. I was intrigued. How perfect would it be, as I'm already trying to implement a healthier diet for me and my family and we're increasing our exercise. This would be a great way for me to share what I'm doing to reduce my personal risks.

But the researched continued. The more I read the more I wanted to learn. The risk factors are so much more then just your genes. I have to admit, I was naive, thinking only those with a family history had to worry.

I think what amazed me the most and really derailed my intended blog was learning how many chemicals mimic estrogen and other hormones. I was floored!

Bisphenol A, commonly referred to as BPA is found in a most plastic and even in the liner of canned fruits and vegetables. Studies {google BPA and you'll see} show exposure to BPA increases your risk factors for breast cancer.

Alkylphenols are endocrine disruptors that mimic or block hormones and are found in detergents, cleaning products, hair dies, and so much more just sitting around the house.

Aluminum, is a metal that mimics estrogen, commonly used to coat non stick cookware. While I wasn't able to find much research, okay, only one article really, it was still enough to make me take pause.

With this new found information, I came to the realization that breast cancer prevention isn't just my genetic make up, it's not just exercising and eating healthy, {quite frankly, I should be doing that anyway} it's not just the foods I choose, but how that food is prepared and stored, processed, shipped...

I know this post is vague, there is so much research out there that shows these things not just being bad for one's health but increasing the risk for breast cancer. What I once thought was such a non-issue for me, I've learned might very well could be. Please look, please don't think like I did.

You can even be a part of the research. Go to Army of Women and sign up, get involved.

A Realization

2010-10-11T22:55:00.003-05:00

Next week, we will have been here for four whole months. Four months doesn't seem long in a life of nearly 34 years, but thinking about my last home in Illinois, four months seems a mini lifetime ago.

I had many struggles and trials this summer; trying to make friends, find a church, unpack, and make a house a home. There were days that I felt isolated from the rest of civilization {especially going from the outer 'burbs of Chicago to Mississippi's Gulf Coast}. I'm still trying to get used to the amount of time it takes to get anywhere.

But alas, we have found a church and have started making friends, and what a difference it makes. Having a place to go, something to look forward to, getting a chance to get to know others makes the time go a bit faster.

While I'm still missing my old church and the wonderful friends I made there, I feel I'm finally beginning to move forward, let go of the past and hope for the future.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
{I have this passage on a bracelet I wear daily to remind me, it's His plan, not mine}

The Sunday Creative: Spiral, Oh My Soul!

2010-10-10T20:59:00.005-05:00

I know I've been a bit absent and I have a couple blogs planned for some time this week, but after reading today's prompt at The Sunday Creative, I knew I had to write tonight.

Spiral

I'm too tired to pick up tonight
This is the first time I've sat down today
I've been in that kitchen all evening

I'll straighten it up later
I'll do dishes in the morning
The dust isn't going anywhere

Not wanting to clean
Not wanting to cook

So tired
So very tired
Oh, my soul

Excuses, excuses

I can feel myself falling
deeper and deeper into a sea of self pity
depression
despair

If only I could sleep
I would be a better mom with a full night's rest
sleep
no sleep
Oh, my soul

Stress unvented
Worry pent up

Help needed
I know not how

A long week
Oh, my soul

******

Last week, if I sat still long enough, closed my eyes, I could actually feel my little world spiraling further and further away from comfort and control. My husband's one week absence threw me for a loop, I didn't see it coming even though his trip had been planned. I lost my grip and for a few days forgot my normal coping mechanisms. I spent more time praying for his safety and forgot about my own sanity. Thinking praying meant not worrying and discovering I was wrong. I forgot to let go and let God. He told me not to worry, He told me He was in control. I didn't listen.

Oh, my soul!

Blogging for Our Breasts

2010-10-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I am joining my fellow bloggers in raising awareness. I've joined Army of Women {no it's not just for women, men are encouraged to join as well}, their goal is to recruit one million women to partner with breast cancer researchers and actually participate in the studies {don't get nervous, the research is prevention based, not clinical trials} in hopes to completely eradicate this disease.

And I'm linking up with Bigger Picture Blogs to Write Pink!

Will you join? Will you help us be one million strong?

She's 4!

2010-09-28T21:45:00.000-05:00

I interrupt my regular scheduled blogging to catch up on all my September escapades that I have neglected to post. So without further ado, I present my daughter's 4th birthday!

*****

I had decided, even before we moved, B's 4th Birthday was going to be a small family affair. At the time, I had no idea if she'd have a bunch of friends {or not} and to relieve the stress of planning and executing a kids birthday, a family thing was the answer.

Now, I know, above it says "small," but our little house filled with 11 people sleeping here and only one spare bedroom, it didn't feel small. While we may have been short on sleeping locations {sorry, Jen's kids got the floors}, we were not short on laughter, hugs and joy!

The rest of this is best explained through pictures!

The cake was made my Josh and Addy and decorated by Addy and me.

What is it???

Only the best toy EVER! She's been asking for that Cinderella for months!

Pops has great taste and she LOVES her Tiana dress up dress!

More games for her Leapster, thanks Grandma.

And of course, Alice.

I almost forgot!

During the craziness, Yaya {my mom}, snuck in a kitty. Okay, so we knew Yaya was bringing her, but it wasn't until my mom was getting ready to leave that B realized we were keeping her!
This is Cookie!

*****

B wanted to give her daddy Prince Charming for his birthday. She was quite bummed when, for an entire week, he refused to open it.

And they lived happily ever after...

Road Trip! A Weekend in Pictures

2010-09-28T13:33:00.003-05:00

On Labor Day, the Clan decided to make the 12 hour drive to Oklahoma to visit my parents. Of course, the 12 hour drive took 14 hours and we had to leave in the middle of the day because, well, we weren't able to leave as early as we would have liked.

But we got on the road and soon were all smiles.

Or not.

There it is.

Our dinner stop was entertaining.

Our fondness for taking pictures seemed to weird out the lady behind us.

After driving all night and arriving at 3:30 AM, we really just wanted to veg a bit before starting the day.

We spent the weekend relaxing and visiting,

Bear was taking relaxing to a whole new level.

Hide and Seek

Utterly Kissable!

Worn Out

B got a hold of the camera on the way home.

For lunch, we stopped at a Chic-fil-A that had a play structure for the kids. The girls had a great time but when it came time to get back on the road, one little munchkin did not want to come down and an extraction party had to be sent out.

It was a GREAT weekend!

Update: Busy Week

2010-09-27T09:27:00.004-05:00

It's been a crazy week filled with birthdays, beach days, an overflowing house of people, laughter, delayed flights, prayers, and utter joy!

I have missed writing and am looking forward to sharing the smiles and good times.

Some really great things are being planned in the weeks to come and I'm very happy to be a part of it. Again, I'm looking forward to sharing.

The Sunday Creative: Comfort

2010-09-12T16:27:00.004-05:00

My take on "Comfort"

Breathe in
calm
Breathe out
peace
Breathe in
quiet
Breathe out
relaxation

The peacefulness of a quiet and calm home
Thoughts are able to escape, transform onto the page

Breathe in
creativity
Breathe out
art
Breathe in
poetry
Breathe out

MOMMY
MOMMY
MOOOOOOOM

Breathe in
babies
Breathe out

Get tackled with hugs

Breathe in
happiness
Breathe out
laughter
Breathe in
joy
Breathe out

Blessings!

Bigger Picture Moment: I Am a Steward

2010-09-09T13:42:00.005-05:00

I am beginning to understand...

These are not my children, they are God's and these children are more than just a gift from God, He has entrusted me with their well-being.

I am a steward. I have been given wards to raise, nurture, teach, lead, and utterly love. My children are God's children, given to me so that I may care for them.

That's a pretty big responsibility.

When I look at my children through these eyes, I begin to change the way look at them, the way I speak to them, the way I love them.

I ask myself, how would God speak to them? Especially when I feel I'm being harsh. Or raise my voice when volume is not needed. {These are also the times I thank God for not talking to me that way.}

Rules still exist in this house, there is still discipline, as I fully believe we need rules and limits. God even gave us rules by which to live {remember the 10 Commandments?!}. Paul told us of the fruit of the Spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. {Gal 5:22,23}
I feel he could have been yelling, "Rose, pay attention to this!!"

So everyday, I thank God for this chance to serve Him, for this awesome challenge. For is there a better way to show my love for Him than by loving them?!

A Little About Me

2010-09-08T23:28:00.005-05:00

{because I know you're dying to know more about me...}

I was tagged by my lovely friend Ally to answer the following questions.

1. If you could have any superpower, what would you have? Why? Teleportation! I decided that years ago when I was in the Middle East. I didn't mind being there {volunteered to go} but would have loved to be able to go home on the weekends. Now with my friends and family being spread to the far reaches of the world, I would again, appreciate such a power.

2.Who is your style icon? My sister! She's trendy in a non-trendy sort of way. She's chic and sporty, classic.

3.What is your favorite quote? "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you." Author Unknown {I know this is not a direct quote from scripture, if you know who deserves credit for this quote, please enlighten me}

4.What is the best compliment you've ever received? A couple weeks ago, my husband came home from work and told me I was doing a great job with our kids and our house. I don't know if it's the best compliment I've ever received, but I sure needed it, more than I knew at the time. And just today, when B spelled "DAD" with the letters on the fridge, he told me it was a testament to my work with her.

5.What playlist/cd is in your CD player/iPod right now? I have a 6 disc CD changer in my van, the CDs are as follows: Simon and Garfunkel, WOW Worship 2010 {both CDs but I do prefer the first}, Wow Wow Wubbzy, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Disney songs.

6.Are you a night owl or a morning person? Night for sure, I only get up early if I have to!

7. Do you prefer dogs or cats? Either or neither, depending on the day. With the life we live, a cat is easier. Never knowing where we're going to end up next, what the climate will be... We've told B we'll get a dog when Daddy gets out of the Navy. I'm hoping this will be the next member of our Clan. Her name is Cookie {named by my nephew}, she's currently a ward of my mother's. We spent this past weekend with her, the girls love her and she loves the girls!

8.What is the meaning behind your blog name? I started My Clan as a way to keep my family posted on our lives as we travel wherever the Navy sends us. Somehow it has morphed into what it is today, an outlet for my poetry or ramblings. It's my therapy, writing, that is.

And now is the time I tag others, 8 others, really?!

Robin at The Misadventures of Jack and Luke
Kamryn at All Pop No Corn
Lindy at Mrs. Rogers Neighborhood
Callie at Mia Bella Vita
Diana at Little Pieces of Me
PJ at Confessions of a Sugar Addict
Elizabeth at The Strahan Clan

I'm following Ally's lead, I will be leaving the 8th spot open. If you follow my blog and would like to participate, please do so and share your link in the comments below.

Oklahoma Trip

2010-09-07T09:14:00.000-05:00

Definite signs you're at Yaya's and Papa's.

The sound of little feet running through the house.

Kids chasing kitties, kitties chasing kids.

Endless horsey rides. (oh my aching knees)

Gold fish and bananas for breakfast.

Extended bedtimes. (Utter lack of bedtimes)

Slumber parties in the living room floor.

Sleeping in! (Til 8:30)

Colorful band-aids for pretend boo boos, and for real ones.

*****

Definite signs you're home from a long weekend at Yaya's and Papa's

Very little in the house to eat, total lack of fresh fruit and veggies.

Suitcases still packed and laying open on the floor providing clean clothes to be grabbed in a hurried effort to get out the door on time.

Allergies! Nice dry, cool weather in OK; hot and humid in MS.

Dreading driving anywhere after spending 14 hours in the van the day before.

*****

We had a great time in Oklahoma visiting my parents. We had wonderful weather and enjoyed sitting outside chatting. The girls were wonderful on the ride, their resilience amazes me sometimes.

The Sunday Creative: Illuminate

2010-08-29T13:37:00.005-05:00

This mornings prompt instantly conjured two of my favorite verses. As I couldn't possibly chose between the two, I wrote for them both.

********

Lost and wandering through unknown lands
Searching for a path, something familiar
Wading through the shadows of the dark
Alone
Cold
Affable sounds echo in the distance
Supporting words breaking the silence
Determination holds its head high
Alone
Darkness wanes under the threat of Hope
Confidence grows as prayers are answered
Never Alone
Whispered in a wanting heart

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light for my path.

********

Colors slowly shifting o'er the sky
Orange splendor greeting the day
Casting out shadows of darkness
Morning comes anew
Bringing Hope to the faithful
Brilliance in Light illuminating the world

Prov 4:18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

A Rambling Reply

2010-08-24T13:47:00.003-05:00

A reply to Sarah's post (I found I was rambling so I thought I'd share it here).

While I have no actual snapshot to share my snapshot...
The day began about 30 minutes earlier than Momma would have liked but both girls were up early, prodding me to get out of bed.

Since yesterday was a grocery day, Little Bit was all too pleased to see apples almost spilling over their crystal home (don't ask me why I keep my apples in a crystal bowl, I needed a bowl and it looked pretty). One pealed for Little Bit and one washed for Big Bit, I congratulated myself on putting off breakfast for a few more minutes giving me a little more wake up time.

But alas, I forgot, apples = energy! I discovered how quickly I can put on a pot of coffee.

Armed with my cup of joe, I sat back and watched my girls rediscover a clean sun room, with all toys put away in their proper homes (I had a busy night last night).

I finally put them at the table with their breakfast and enjoyed some facebook time while they ate.

We've been enjoying a non script day.

The Sunday Creative: Orient {or Reorient as it were}

2010-08-22T22:16:00.007-05:00

Thank you Madeline, this was especially challenging and fun.

Walking down a path
Staring at my feet

Seeing the sky reflected in the ground
A mirror

Feeling much like Alice
Can I simply step through

Walking upside down
Life is feeling lighter

Still on the path
But is it truly the same

Step by step
Wondering and wandering

Which side is real
This path or the other

Is this reality
Still upside down

Although lighter
I see happiness on the other side

No happiness here
No sadness, no joy

Can I simply step back
Like M.C. Escher stairs

Reoriented
Right side up
Right side up

Bigger Picture Moment: A Joyous Moment

2010-08-19T22:22:00.005-05:00

Welcome to Bigger Picture Moments, a weekly writing event sponsored by Bigger Picture Blogs. We welcome you to join us in finding the Bigger Picture amidst the hectic, everyday craziness in your week.

I really didn't have a Bigger Picture Moment this week and I thought I'd have to keep looking for inspiration and hopefully have something to share next week. But to my glorious surprise, today happened.

*****

The heat and humidity bring out my inner introvert. I'm really only outgoing and independent when I have to be. Most often I would choose to curl up with a Jane Austen book I've read dozens of times instead of being out hobnobbing with others.

Unfortunately for my children, when the inner introvert rears it's shy face they become house-bound, spending yet another day hold up in this bastille called home. The big one often asking for friends, the little one often driving her sister crazy.

Today was a bit different, today we got out. B asked if we could go to the park and since the heat index hadn't quite reached triple digits, I agreed. We didn't stay long, but we got out and I got inspired. {Hopefully tomorrow's post.} Like I said, it was a short trip because the heat index did quickly reach triple digits, and back to the house we went.

The girls quickly ate and went off to play, leaving me alone at my computer {ah, such a dream}, or so I thought. It wasn't long before I heard Little Bit grunting in frustration. When I got to her room, I immediately saw the cause of her distress, a container a bubbles, sitting high upon her dresser far out of, not only her reaching arm, but that of her sister's as well. She emphatically signed "pleased" and how was I to resist those big blue puppy dog eyes.

Out came the bubbles and utter joy ensued.

It was in that joyous moment I realized my children are going to be just fine. I'm not doing them a world of harm (as I sometimes feel I am) by staying in doors. And even though B might want to see friends, she gets along great with her sister. I was reminded, in that moment, that I am truly blessed.

These precious angels are mine!

On a side note, we don't stay in all day, everyday. We get out and do things. I'm just tired of being the one to ask a stranger we just met at the park or in a store if they want to get together for a play date. I know God has good things in store for us and I feel our lives will be changing soon, my girls and I might even get tan, although I doubt it (so much sun block!).

Fun Filled Friday: B and I

2010-08-13T15:57:00.015-05:00

B was in the room when I got dressed this morning...
"Those aren't real"
Scoffing, I reply, "Yes they are, God gave them to me."
"He forgot to take them back."

**********

This Fun Filled Friday was just that!

Full of fun lessons, smiles and many laughs!

One of my first lessons today was, when you spend enough time with someone you begin to act like them (good or bad)...

I learned she's even funnier upside down.

I learned if you're going to spend the majority of your day with some you had better learn to see eye to eye.

I learned being silly is fun!

And I was reminded, just how precious she is!

Bigger Picture Moment: A Lost Opportunity?

2010-08-12T16:50:00.000-05:00

Satan is celebrating a minor victory.

I gave into the frustration and lost myself in anger. I yelled. I gave mean looks. I scared my daughter. I can't believe how angry I was. I didn't recognise myself.

I prayed...
Then let myself get angry again, completely nullifying the prayer.

I lost control. Control of my emotions, myself and the situation.

An opportunity to teach was lost. My child only learned, Mom is scary when she's angry. Nothing positive came from that event, except, maybe, these afterthoughts.

When we loose ourselves to anger we loose the opportunity to witness to others.

While I don't believe my relationship with Jesus is based on how much I act like Him, some non believers seem to think it does. {Could you imagine someone saying the only way to have a good marriage is to be just like your husband?!}

But if we, Christians, want to share our knowledge, the Love, the Word, all that is Good, we have to do our best to live as Jesus would. And that means instead of giving in to the impulse we need to pause before we move/act/speak.

When I got out of the Navy, I struggled with the loss of belonging to something. I do belong, not to something, but to Someone! I have to remember I'm a part of something bigger and when people look at me, they might not recognize I'm a Christian, but I want them to see good in me, I hope they see wisdom, a sense of peace (a peace only God can give). Again, like the in the Navy where I was constantly held to a higher standard (law enforcement often is), I have to live like others are watching, because, somewhere, they are.

While I'm not the type to walk up to a stranger and ask if they've accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, I would like to be the type of person someone who is seeking the Lord could say, "I can ask her."

Satan isn't celebrating today.

I wasn't pleased this morning when my darling B decided to have, pretty much, the same attitude as yesterday but I did love having the chance to respond in a TOTALLY different way. This time, in the middle of her fit, I knelt down, lifted her onto my lap and, with her, asked God for guidance. She was still punished but I remained calm and she quickly calmed. We were able to talk about her behavior and why it was inappropriate, we moved on and had a lovely day.

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
Hebrews 12:14/NIV

The Sunday Creative: Raw

2010-08-09T22:37:00.002-05:00

Better late than never.

Tear stained cheeks
Red, burning eyes
Pink nose, face flushed

Exhausting tears
Holding nothing back
Pleas to the Lord

More time needed
Strength, healing
So much healing

Emotions raw

Bigger Picture Moment: I Walked a Mile

2010-08-07T21:47:00.001-05:00

Take a step back and take in life!

Today I had the chance to experience my husband's chore and bare his burden for a little bit. The old saying of "walk a mile in their shoes" really struck a cord this morning, giving me a new appreciation and respect for my husband.

What did it take, you ask.

I mowed!

I actually got to walk where he normally does.

Now I know some of you are thinking, big whoop, but it was big for me. This is the biggest yard I've mowed as an adult and quite frankly, it's hot here, even in the morning.

Yet my husband does it, without complaint. And keeping in mind the house we're renting was vacant for some time before we moved in, he had a small forest to cut down the first couple times mowed.

And the bugs... Oh the bugs!

I didn't realize how big our yard really is. I knew the back yard is big but I had forgotten we have a front yard, berm, and two sides that have to be mowed as well. With little hills, holes, ruts, and a whole bunch of bushes daring you to come closer so they can scratch you with their prickly leaves. Did I mention the holes? They are cleverly disguised voids in the ground waiting for a solitary mower wheel, and given the chance it will hold on.

And the ants... Oh the ants!

I really enjoyed it though, as hot and sweaty as I was getting, it was soothing. It gave me good thinking time and helped me get my thoughts straight. Pushing to and fro, enjoying the leisurely, yet productive, pace, my mind was able to wander in and out of story ideas, plan trips and completely take in the scents and colors surrounding me.

Soothing, that is, until a thorn caught my ankle. I came to a stop to remove it, lifted my pant leg to find an ant, holding on to dear life with his little pincers. (I now have a slightly painful bite mark on my ankle).

But the battle of the bugs is a whole post in its own!

For now, I will remain so very thankful for my husband and our yard.

From deep within the recesses of my mind...

2010-08-07T20:41:00.006-05:00

More drafts than posts, or so it feels.

My mind appears to be in a constant state of chaos as of late. Swirling thoughts dance like a wisp on a breeze, never quite landing and disappearing when you try to bring them into focus.

Characters without story lines, plots without characters.

Poems broken mid stance.

I need a brain dump, or stream of consciousness writing. Something to release the pressure and let the creativity flow.

Internal Debate: Preschool

2010-08-06T14:30:00.005-05:00

To send or not to send?

Why do I feel this need to make sure my child can write her own name at the age of 3??

I have to ask myself, why would I be sending her? Curriculum? Social interaction?

For me, it comes down to comparisons and keeping up with the Joneses really. A friend tells me her child can tell time, I freak and think I haven't even tried to teach mine to tell time. Another tells me hers is writing her name. Oh goodness, I think, B only knows her name starts with a "B". What disservice am I doing to my child... My mind reels.

So I did it, I put B on a waiting list for our local preschool and didn't feel good about it. I then spent the next week feeling ill at ease, I pondered and analyzed not sure why I wasn't as excited as she.

Then the major question of why I'm sending her falls into my head. Since we've moved she hasn't really made any friends and I see school as a way to make friends and an opportunity to play with kids her own age. I also see preschool as a place for her to learn how to write, read, count...

Then what have I been doing? B and I have been going through work books for a little while now, working on her tracing, writing letters and numbers. Why does she need to go to school to learn what I'm already teaching her? And more off, why would I pay someone to not only do what I can but not give her the one on one I can.

As for the social aspect, after a long conversation with my sister, she reminded me B will be fine if she doesn't go to school. We'll make friends, she'll have people to play with.

Then the other stuff began to fall into place, I remembered MOPs. I love MOPs, it's my sanity. She would get to play with kids her age there and I would get to fellowship with other ladies.

Here's the kicker...

Josh and I have talked, since B was a babe, about homeschooling our kids. It's something I've wanted to do as long as I'm able and they're willing. Why all the sudden am I wanting her in school just so I can homeschool in a year or two?! It made no sense.

For me, I think it comes back to the Joneses and the fact that all of my friends, and her friends are in or going to preschool. I support my friends and their kids. This is just what we're choosing to do with our kids. I have absolutely nothing against public or private school. I simply support education, in whichever form it may take.

AND THE WINNER IS...

2010-08-02T08:29:00.004-05:00

Corinne! Congratulations!

She is the new owner of a Garlic Press. Woohoo!

Thank you all for participating in my giveaway and thank you to those who placed orders. I especially want to thank you for following and reading my blog. I often wonder if my words are simply messages going out into the great void of cyberspace. While I write for my own sanity it's comforting knowing someone is actually reading.

If you're in Northern Illinois and would like to host a Pampered Chef show or are not in Northern Illinois and would like to have an on-line show like had, call or email Kamryn.

Thank you again, everyone.

Clutter Not Clearly Defined

2010-07-29T08:07:00.000-05:00

My house is a junk drawer!

Everyone has a dirty little secret. Whether it be a drawer in the kitchen or a shelf in the garage. Everyone has that hiding place to put things that have no other clearly defined home.

That is currently my home! Clutter not clearly defined.

My only exception is the kitchen/dining room, but we'll have to get back to that.

I received an email from a friend of mine who moved shortly after we did. She was so excited that she was all moved in, had already had house guests and had been out doing things and making friends.

This was a bit on an eye opener. Quite honestly the kick in the pants I needed. Not that its a competition and I can guarantee she was not trying to boast. But to know someone else has done it quicker while facing many of the same obstacles (two young kids can really make things a bit more difficult). She survived and is thriving, so can I!

So I have officially made myself some goals. I am listing them here in effort to hold myself accountable.

Day 1 (Thursday, July 29)- Unpack Sun room. The sun room is currently (and will remain) our family room. Mine and Josh's computers are out here, the kids have their toys out here and it's also the home of my crafting stuff. The crafting stuff holds the biggest burden, but I will get it sorted and, if needs be, thrown out.

Day 2 - The Girl's room. Their room doesn't really need much. A couple boxes need to be unpacked and I want to hang their curtains, granted, this means I have to locate the hardware for the curtain rod because the movers didn't bundle them together. Wall hangings wont be completed until I get a chance to buy some shelves.

Day 3 - Our room. Two boxes remain and I have to figure out where I want a couple pieces of furniture located.

That puts me into next week as I am not scheduling unpacking for Sunday although I probably will get some done.

Next week I'll be able to focus on the spare room which holds boxes from the kids playroom and our storage room from the last house. Most of the contents from those boxes actually needs to be sorted and trashed!

My true goal to getting all of this done is to be able to invite someone over for a play date. I've met some other moms, exchanged phone numbers but no play dates have been made. When my house is clean enough for quests I wont hesitate to invite other's over.

But not just yet, not until the junk drawer is back in it's little basket at the top of the pantry.

Bigger Picture Moment: Boxes

2010-07-24T11:23:00.000-05:00

Looking at the boxes still lingering in my home fills me with bit of apprehension. So much work held within each one.

And where I used to look at unpacking in a positive light, feeling like Christmas, wondering what treasures would be found in each box, this move has left me wanting. So many things broken, boxes mislabeled, items still missing.

I normally would enjoy putting my personal touch on our house, making it OUR home. I now wish I had a magical wand so it would just be finished.

*****

Forts, tables, hiding places...

My girls are seeing something far different that what my eyes focus on.

B can look at a box and see a spaceship or car.

"It's a cave," she tells me as she peeks her head out from underneath.

"What is it now?" I ask as she crawls in. "It's a bathtub Mommy," as if I should have known just by looking at it.

My Journey: Depression

2010-07-21T13:19:00.007-05:00

While reading this post last night I became emotional. I bawled, I cried and I cried, then found myself crying some more.

I didn't fully realize where I was until I read it in someone else's words.

I am drowning.

The truth is, for some time now, every day has been a struggle. Each day I wake up I wonder if I'll sink or swim. I know someone out there is thinking, "simply choose to swim." But it's not that easy when depression is looming just beneath the surface.

Having a history of depression I can usually see the warning signs: lack of motivation, quick to temper, sadness, etc. These signs have been prevalent lately and I've been trying to stave off this funk. Yet, here I am again, back in the water, struggling to find my footing.

In this water (aka depression, funk, whatever) is not where I want to be. I don't like who I become when I'm fighting for air. And the worse part is that it affects my family.

When I'm tired I don't want to play with my girls. My tolerance for, well, everything is lowered. I overreact to the smallest problem, often snapping at my precious babies. They don't know what's wrong with Mommy, so they begin to walk on eggshells and avoid me. This, of course, breaks my heart and worsens the depression as I'm wracked with guilt.

It's a vicious cycle.

The way I treat my husband is just shameful.

At my worse, I ended up on meds. I couldn't get out of that funk on my own.

My lifelines have come in many forms, my sister, my husband, my friends, my kids, my God! Usually one of the previous has to remind me to turn to Christ.

Just this week I received two life lines I wasn't expecting. The first came in the form of my pastor, simply reminding me I am NEVER alone!

The second was Hyacynth's post. It opened my eyes to see the water around me. I think I've been struggling to swim since I've been here in Mississippi but haven't wanted to admit it.

So tonight as I finish this post I will admit, I'm in the water! But I'm not alone. While my feet still aren't on solid ground I do have a few floaties and a life vest is within my reach.

Military Moment: Separation

2010-07-17T22:56:00.003-05:00

My friend is missing her husband and my heart is breaking for her. They're not a military family, not accustomed to regular absences. Even a short trip is a big deal.

She got me thinking...

As a military family, separation is a way of life (that and constantly moving), not something you like but a necessary evil you accept. You have to learn to adapt to life as a single parent, kissing all the boo boo's, quelling all their fears, all the while trying to quell your own. Keeping a strong facade, constantly checking email and fearing any missed call.

Non-military families ask how you do it, you lie and say it gets easier with time.

Yes, I said "lie."

Truth be told it never gets easier! You just tell others that, tell yourself, hoping to one day believe it.

But you never miss him less, eight days or eight months, it still sucks.

I suppose you kinda get used to it after a while. You find a routine, find ways to make the time go by faster.

And there is one really great upside. The first kiss, all of them. Whether standing on a pier or in the terminal of an airport, there is nothing like Homecoming.

Butterflies in the pit of your stomach, you strain to find him among the crowd. Your heart beating faster as you catch a glimpse, when his eyes meet yours, your heart stops. By the time he reaches you, your eyes are filled with tears, your heart if filled with joy and the world stands still while you're locked in his embrace.

The Pampered Chef and My First Giveaway

2010-07-14T17:10:00.005-05:00

I am having an on line Pampered Chef Show! And in honor of said show, I am giving away a Pampered Chef product!

There are two ways to earn entries. You can get one entry for being a follower of my blog and leaving a comment on this post, and you can earn two more entries by placing an order on my show. One winner will be picked at random upon the closure of the party on July 31, 2010.

I had a hard time deciding which product to give away. I wanted to give something I love, a tool my kitchen couldn't live without. So I've narrowed it down to two. The winner will choose either a new Mix 'N Chop or a new Garlic Press.

And if that wasn't enough, if you buy $60.00 worth of product you get two free seasoning rubs of your choice.

To shop on line and place an order click here or go to Kamryn's web site and enter my name as the hostess.

Happy Shopping!

If you would rather, you can also place your order to Kamryn directly. Her contact information is on her site.

I'm a Winner!

2010-07-14T13:29:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I was awarded the Cherry On Top Award by my dear friend Ally. The rules are simple: thank the person who awarded you, list three things you love about yourself and pass the award on to five others.

So, without further ado.

Thank you, Ally! You are a wonderful, dear friend. You honor me so.

Now, three things I love about myself...

1. I love that I'm a work in progress. On the days where I think I'm a bad mom, wife, friend, etc. I know God is making me better. And the more I seek Him, the better of a person I become.

2. I love that I have the ability to learn from my mistakes. And boy have I made a few. I even learn from other's mistakes at times.

3. I love the way I think. It doesn't often make it to the paper (or screen) but I think poetically. The words flow through my head, drifting in and out of writings that will some day be, or so I hope.

My Five Winners Are:

Hyacynth at Undercover Mother
Diana at Little Pieces of Me
Robin at The Misadventures of Jack and Luke
Kamryn at All Pop No Corn
Marlena at Marlena's Menu

The Sunday Creative: Connect

2010-07-13T10:06:00.002-05:00

Connect

We connected right from the start!

A strong friendship lasting not only time but miles. We were friends before internet and email. When phone calls and written letters had to suffice. When news wasn't usually delivered quickly.

After I moved away we didn't talk often (calls from overseas can get expensive), but when we did it took but a moment for us to catch up and fall into light-hearted, easy conversation.

She scrapbooks, and makes amazing pages! She's creative and modest! She's made art for my walls, baby books for both of my girls.

It has been too many years since we've seen each other. We've never met each other's children, yet I feel as if I know them, they are a part of my family. We've had to watch each other from the sidelines but we've grow together through pictures.

We've been through separate spiritual journeys but knowing that we'll get to spend eternity together warms my heart.

She is my sister in Christ, the family I've chosen.

She's my Diana!

With whom I will always be able to connect!

(Diana, I love your work and am honored you add me and think of me. I love you, I miss you!)

Check out Diana's work for yourself.

The Sunday Creative: Denim

2010-07-09T01:16:00.000-05:00

As I loved Creative Bootcamp, I am thrilled to share with your more genius from our Coach, Maegan. She is helping us to continue nurturing our artistic spirit by providing word prompts each weak and giving us a place to link them up and share. This is The Sunday Creative.

Denim

The worse pants I could imagine.

Why would people buy clothes already ripped and torn?

Brand new they already looked trashed.

But he likes them.

They do look good on him.

Can I tolerate them?

Not be embarrassed to be seen with them in public?

He does look good in them.

He seems to really like them.

"Buttons and birds" He tells me.

I look, none of the buttons match.

How interesting.

Near the pocket, an amazing embroidered bird.

A representation of Isaiah 40:31 maybe?

Buttons and birds...

He found something about these hideous jeans I would love.

Buttons and birds...

Years later when I'm having a hard time seeing the good he reminds me,

"Buttons and Birds, Babe!"

Bigger Picture Moment: Heart of a Servant

2010-07-06T23:49:00.006-05:00

The lovely ladies at Bigger Picture Blogs welcome you to take a step back, look at your life and find the role faith has played in your day, in your everyday. They've also provided a link up so you can share your Bigger Picture Moment with others. If you have some time, take a peek into so other's moments.

I am not doing this for acknowledgement or accolades.

(I keep telling myself.)

It's OK if he doesn't notice.

But it's not OK, I want him to notice. I want him to acknowledge all the hard work I've put in. Especially since it's been a while since I've worked this hard.

But that's not OK.

That's not the right attitude, spirit.

That is not the heart of a servant.

I want to be a servant.

I want to serve my God and my husband.

I need a change of heart.

Not the typical spoken change but a divine intervention. I need, I pray for a better heart, a servant's heart. Self-serving is not what I want to be, not what I want others to see.

How can I expect to be a beacon if my soul isn't shinning.

So I will work. I will work hard. I will make this house a home. I will give my husband a place to rest, to retreat.

And I will do it with the heart of a servant.

Happy Momma Moment: Speaking In Hushed Tones

2010-07-03T23:23:00.001-05:00

One day while attempting to nurse my Bear down for her nap, B walked in and in a very failed attempt at a whisper asked what I was doing. You see, she did, in fact, change the tone of her voice sounding like she was whispering but her volume remained unchanged resulting in loud, raspy sound.

I was so pleased she recognized the need for a lowered voice.

And in that moment I began to think of all the other wonderful times in my life that where spoken in hushed tones.

Whispering sweet nothings, plans for a quick rendezvous.

Disagreeing under our breath.

Quietly scolding while in public.

Simply conversing while trying not to wake a sleeping babe.

I often try to keep the peace in my house by simply keeping my volume low. A trick my mother taught me which works on most adults: As they raise their voice, you lower yours so they have to be quiet to hear you.

A Realization

2010-06-30T23:35:00.002-05:00

Tonight I find myself homesick. But it's not a location I long for, not even so much as a person. But a feeling, a security. The warmth and love which radiates from friends and family. The clever smile from a sister, a knowing hug from a neighbor. No words need be spoken, they know. They know my heart, almost as well as He knows my heart.

As I sit here, He reminds me, I have that warmth and security. And even though I'm missing my friends and family, I can simply close my eyes and in my heart I can feel the hug, the warmth.

A Safe Place To Rest

2010-06-28T21:06:00.004-05:00

Sitting quietly
Two hearts beating

Beauty resting,
Warm and tired

Strength and gentleness
embodied in Daddy

Peace, stillness

Is it possible to love him anymore?

I do.

Holding his babe while she sleeps
There is calm, quiet

He is her protector
Her guardian

She is his love
His sweetness

They are my joy

***

Our Baby Bear was running a fever this evening and didn't nap well. He held her so I could finish dinner and that seemed perfect for her. Once dinner was in the oven I didn't dare disturb such a peaceful sight. Thank you Hyacynth for inspiring me to share this moment.

A Tiresome Type of Day

2010-06-25T23:36:00.005-05:00

I want to write. I want to share. I want to blog.

I want tell you about something fun or profound or interesting that happened to me today. But alas, I sit here, munching on my Yoplait Light and gluten-free cookie thinking back on my day. Looking for something profound, fun or even interesting to share and finding nothing note worthy. Which I'm OK with.

You see, I spent much of the morning and early afternoon tired and the rest of the day unmotivated. I got the kitchen clean just in time to unpack the last kitchen/dining room box and mess it up again. We've moved into a smaller kitchen so I find myself offloading all non-essential cookware; Christmas dishes, I'm sorry but I really can live without you. I no longer feel obligated to keep the coffee cups, I've never used, simply because they accompanied my dishes.

What I find truly entertaining about my kitchen right now is that half of it is spotless and tidy. Everything on this side of the kitchen is put away, organized, a staunch difference to it's neighboring counter. The bar stands between the kitchen and the dining room and currently is home to my "I have no idea what to do with you" pile. The dining room table is littered with Tupperware and large crystal platters waiting for a home; dinner was yet again eaten on TV trays (the little ones sure don't mind this).

I didn't load my dishwasher tonight, a routine I quite enjoy, instead deciding to wait until morning. Yet when I walked past my mess I was somewhat delighted because I knew, I had no more boxes to unpack in this room!

And Mom, if you're reading this, I love the gluten-free cookies!

Life Among Boxes

2010-06-23T22:41:00.004-05:00

We are moving pros, at least I thought we were.

This is our 5th house move together and we have a great system that works wonders, when it's implemented properly. We have great teamwork, tag teaming each room and knocking out boxes like it's nobody's business.

But not this time. Not this move.

We have not used teamwork.

We divided and were conquered.

So now I sit, almost a week into living among boxes, wondering how to make a house out of this mess! Tomorrow I will resume being a stay at home mom with my Love at work, attempt to entertain the girls who are becoming increasing tired of being cooped up, unpack, and make this house a home.

This move has truly taught me what not to do! Which, I know, is just as valuable.

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Eleven (Hush)

2010-06-16T07:28:00.003-05:00

The crying
The tears
The sleepless nights

Is this the way it's supposed to be

My head is ringing
She wont stop crying

What am I doing wrong

Holding her
Caressing her head

Shhhh
Shhhh

Back and forth we rock, standing
I don't dare sit

Shhhh
Shhhh

How long can I do this
How long can she cry

Shhhh
Shhhh

Gently stroking her cheeks
Tracing her features

Shhhh
Shhhh

Rocking, rocking still
Staring at her sad eyes

Shhhh
Shhhh

Have I done something wrong
Is there more I can do

Shhhh
Shhhh

I'm so tired
She closes her eyes

Shhhh
Shhhh

She sleeps
Finally

Shhhh
Shhhh

She's so beautiful
She's mine!

****

Today's word prompt was "Hush." I had no idea simply reading it would conjure such a powerful memory. A memory filled with so many tears, so much doubt, but then peace, and love. It became a moment where I truly realized God had given me such a precious gift. I knew there would be more tears to come in our life together but He gave me peace, he gave me her!

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Nine (Melancholy "Drizzle")

2010-06-14T22:52:00.007-05:00

Sadness steeps
Forlorn weeps
Where is my love

Lost in the greys
Deepening haze
Where is my love

Wretched water
Staining face
Oh my love

Solitary wrong
Subservient song
Gone is my love

Deserted once more
Neglected chore
Gone is my love

Dejected alone
Tomorrow unknown
Goodbye my love

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Eight (Ornament)

2010-06-14T00:11:00.003-05:00

What is beauty?
The braiding of hair
Wearing gold jewelry
Fine clothing

Beauty is vain

Imperishable beauty
Is a gentle and quiet spirit

Dressed with strength
Dignity
Respectful and pure
Honoring her husband
Her children call her blessed

A woman who LOVES the Lord
Praise

(1Pet 3:3-4, Prov 31)

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Seven (Fly)

2010-06-12T17:32:00.005-05:00

Arms out
Eyes closed

She leans forward
Falls out the window

Wind rushes past her
Pulling back her hair

She opens her eyes
Ground fast approaching

She extends her arms out from her side
Lifts her head

She soars
Over the ocean of wheat

Her toes lick the surface
Cutting a wake behind her

A bridge stands disconnected
A perfect perch

She stands
Watching the gold dance in the wind

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Six (Fluid)

2010-06-11T17:22:00.005-05:00

Today we've been challenged to use a different medium for our artistic outlet. I feel that I have been challenging myself, normally write in more of an essay format but since starting Creativity Boot Camp I've been attempting to write more poetry. But for today, I shall step out of my comfort zone, yet again, and take a stab at fiction.

*****

She stood tall, back straight, head and chest up. She was resplendent with a regal air. Thoughtfully, she lifted her arms, closed her eyes and melted with the music. She began to sway side to side, she turned, the music lifting her leg as it bent behind her. She came out of her turn low, back leg extended, gliding back. Gracefully she skipped across the floor, the music quickening her pace. She leapt, like a butterfly on the wind, delicately she landed, bringing her arms in and spinning again. She spun herself across the floor completely lost in the music, time stood still. Life was perfect, in this moment, she was perfect!
A noise startled her and brought her back to reality. Had he been watching all this time? Her face reddened.
Thank you, he said.
She bowed her head and he turned and left.

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Five (Grow)

2010-06-11T00:00:00.003-05:00

Leaping and dancing and splashing about
Joyous squeals of delight filling the air

The pool fills with cold water
No suit required for fun
Just as God made her

Not a care in the world
Enjoying the warmth of the summer
More water please

Purple lips wont stop her
Wrinkled fingers delight
Naked and happy

A fear of the water long since forgotten
Enchantment prevails

*****

While today was about growth, my inspiration came in a unique form. I watched my daughter while standing next to my father and to my delight he was watching me. The time goes by too fast, you blink and your babies are walking, talking or playing naked in a kiddie pool.

No Blogging!

2010-06-10T21:52:00.003-05:00

My attempts to write/blog in the evening are proving to be futile. It seems everyone needs Mom at this time. The desire for the day to end brings out stress in even the happiest of spirits.
Except for B, telling her she has six minutes till bedtime is like daring to get in as much play time as possible. She runs room to room acting out one last epic adventure, saving a princess, beating the witches!

Tomorrow I will try for the morning and pray for a better day than today.

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Four (Heavy Metal)

2010-06-09T23:09:00.003-05:00

Our Random Word Prompt for today really threw me for a loop. I spent all day mulling this over in my mind. What type of inspiration could I get from "Heavy Metal"? What did it mean to me? What images did it evoke? I was stumped! I kept coming back to music, the Christian rock my husband listens to, how he and I are alike and different, the separate yet similar journeys we've been on. Then I realized, I kept coming back to my husband.

*****

He brought us together

From miles apart

Two souls long searching

Attached at the heart

He gave us each other

To have and to hold

For better or worse

From now till we're old

I have no idea

The plans He has for me

As long as we're together

My joy you'll always be

Hercules

2010-06-09T08:19:00.001-05:00

In this world of preoccupation and hectic schedules, where multi-tasking has become an art form and people no longer take pause to smell the proverbial flowers there stands one who is attempting change. We call him Hercules!

The day I first spotted Hercules, I sat, amazed, watching people stop their busy lives, pausing the chaos because he was in the way. They could have gone around or worse yet, hit him but they didn't. For just that moment the world didn't revolve around them. Some looked puzzled, others amused but they looked. They all took that moment to witness the absurdity of a wild turkey calmly crossing the road in the suburban jungle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We may never know, but if you get the chance, ask the turkey.

Hercules, as he's been fondly named by my clan resides on the corner of Green Bay and Rockland in Lake Bluff, IL. He can often be spotted hanging out on the corner, sometimes in the road, occasionally assisting a pedestrian. Sometimes he works from behind the scenes but, as you can see here, rain or shine, he's attempting to change the world one motorist at a time.

(Photo by Robin Snyder)

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Three (Multi-layered)

2010-06-08T20:44:00.006-05:00

Daughter
Sister
Wife
Mother
Friend
Child of God

Precious
Confidant
Companion
Protector
Supporter
Beloved

She has many titles
Goes by many names
He may have made him first
But He loves her just the same

*****

I must admit when I first read today's random word prompt the first thing that came to my head was Shrek telling Donkey that Ogres are like onions!

Creativity Boot Camp: Day Two (Picnic)

2010-06-07T19:38:00.004-05:00

Life is not a picnic, but it should be.

A yellow and pink pastel blanket is laid out in the living room floor
Tupperware lids serve as plates
Magnetic letters from the refrigerator make up the meal
Two purple tea cups sit in the center next to a plastic pink tea pot
A 10 month old little girl sits chewing on plastic spoon slightly unaware

"Me and Sister are having a picnic"

And she gently pours her sister a cup of tea.

Creativity Boot Camp: Day One (Ivory)

2010-06-06T17:00:00.001-05:00

One of my goals with Creativity Book Camp is to actually make the time, everyday, to write. As I search for my inspiration I don't know if it will come as poetry or rambling essays. But I will share with you, I will write, I will make the time!

Beautiful pages
Crisp and neat
Words of love from the One who made me
Elegant words of Truth
Wisdom and Knowledge
Beauty abound

Empty House

2010-06-04T11:47:00.000-05:00

Our house is empty.
The walls are bare, the house is vacant.
It seems smaller.

Its not just empty, its void.
Void of color, happiness, joy.
Its a shell of a house, no longer a home.

The walls are white,
The carpet beige.
Sad.
The memories have faded.

Our house is empty.

My Journey: The Closing of a Chapter

2010-05-31T20:59:00.007-05:00

It is often said when you make a big move that you are beginning a new chapter of your life. I very much am, but a more important chapter ended in Great Lakes.

While we were living there I came back to Christ. I say "I came back" because He never left me! I have been in His grasp without really knowing it. No, I knew. I've never felt abandoned by God, I've always know that it was I who left. But here I am, a whole new woman, changed by the grace of God!

I arrived in Great Lakes scared, knowing no one, lonely, and 7 months pregnant with little to no self confidence. I left a totally different person. And while I never believed a person was capable of change, I did in fact change. The way I think, process information, the way I feel, it's all changed. I have changed! But I know I didn't change me, it was not a do-it-yourself book that lead me to my new life. It was Christ!

2Cor 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the has come!"

I now know you don't just change when you're all new. Someone looking at me isn't going to say "hey look, she was saved yesterday." We're still human, still have to fight sin and temptation. Yes, every once in a while I slip and curse or judge someone, the difference is now, I know God has forgiven me, He doesn't keep a record of my wrongs, why should I?! I strive to live by example, be a light, show others the glory of God. Living a good life, doing right, being a good wife and mother, friend and sister is not easy, but with Jesus by my side, lighting the way...

I believe and I make an effort to be better. I think I am better, better than the immature, scared girl I was when I moved there. The long chapter of my being alone is ending and something so much better is beginning.

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

I'm Allowing Myself to Grieve.

2010-05-29T15:10:00.005-05:00

With the looming transfer I've been sad.

Sad that I'm leaving
Sad that my daughter is leaving her friends
Sad that she most likely wont be able to dance for a while
Sad that we're leaving the house where we became a family of four
where both girls learned to walk
Sad to leave our amazing church
such amazing people

Sad to leave my friends
Amazing women who've stood by me through deployments
Held my hand during tough times
Prayed with me and for me
Laughed with me
Loved me

I'm sad and I'm okay.

In Need of... Something!

2010-05-23T22:17:00.003-05:00

I feel lost.
Call it writers block or loss of inspiration, depression brought on by the looming move.
Whatever it is, I've lost my words. Inspirational ideas in my head are fleeting, I don't even have time to get them on paper before they've become jumbled with everything else in my head.

Reading.
Maybe if I read something I can find inspiration, get my head on straight. Except lately, I haven't made the time to read. Tonight I will go to bed early (I'm sorry Facebook, you'll have to go on without me) and I will read, something!

Creativity.
I need some motivation. Thank you Hyacynth for linking to Meagan, I'm looking forward to a creative kick start.

8, Really?!

2010-05-17T22:53:00.003-05:00

So much to do so little time, or so it seems. I know God is good and He will get us through this transfer but it's easy to get wrapped up in the moment, get stressed and wonder how it's ever going to get done.

This will be my eighth PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move. 8! Wow! 8 moves in 15 years, this doesn't count the house to house moves within the same area. If I included those, I've moved... (just a moment, I'm counting...) Oh my goodness, 16 times!!

The big upside is the Navy will move you, pack you up and ship you. That one huge burden off my shoulders. Our biggest prep for moving is going through everything and getting rid of everything we don't need or just don't want to move (again).

As life is getting a bit hectic, please forgive me for not blogging more.

House Hunting Humor

2010-05-03T23:00:00.000-05:00

We spent last week in Mississippi and Louisiana house hunting. I wanted to share some random thoughts and fun stories.

***
Walmarts being cheep stores filled with odd people is a myth perpetuated by the North. Down South, they take their Walmarts seriously! They are nice, clean and laid out well.

***
Playing singing games, spotting water towers and barns and playing travel hide and go seek with a preschooler beats a DVD player any day. Just be prepared to hand toys off quite often as they seem to bore quickly.

***
Prayer works! (This is going to have to be it's own blog because I have two great stories to share!)

***
After making the mistake on the last road trip we made sure to remember to bring the battery charger for the camera. And yes, we even took the camera... we just forgot to use it most of the time. I did get a couple pictures at the pool.

***
If you know you're going to have to put a deposit down on a place, make sure you have your checkbook.

Being Moved

2010-05-02T15:00:00.004-05:00

Today I was moved by a song.

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

I remembered the first time I attended Immanuel, a little nervous being somewhere new. Standing next to my friend quietly singing along with songs I had never heard.

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

It had been some time since I had been to a church and felt moved. I found myself swaying to the beat, lifted by the songs.

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

When some of the people raised their hands in the air I was a bit worried, was this THAT kind of church?

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

I regained my faith at Immanuel. Dedicated my children in the sanctuary, prayed for my husband, our lives. I met new people, loved new friends. Found me in my search for Christ.

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

The family I found at Immanuel changed my life.

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

But what about those people singing with their hands in the air?

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

I'm one of them. Moved by the Spirit, loving the music, hands above my head. Unapologetically, loving the Lord!

(Hillsong United - The Stand)

My Friend!

2010-04-28T23:24:00.004-05:00

My dear friend has suffered a great loss that I don't know. But I've learned I don't have to know the pain and the loss to comfort her, support her and lift her up in prayer! She is my sister in Christ, a relation I never knew until her. She is a blogging inspiration to me, her words are beautiful and rhythmic, they flow off the screen like dandelion seeds floating on the breeze.

In one of her more recent blogs she mentioned seeing her father's eyes looking back at her in the mirror and I was instantly whisked to my past listening to Amy Grant singing "Father's Eyes."

Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain

knowing what you're going through and feeling it the same.

If her father is anything like she is, Heaven is rejoicing!

My Journey: My writing

2010-04-23T00:04:00.004-05:00

I was once told people write the way they speak, to which I emphatically disagreed saying I wrote much more eloquently than I spoke.

That was 5 years ago.

I've looked on some of my past blogs and I have, indeed, been writing as I speak. Using slang and improper English, some of my ramblings truly rambled. This afternoon in the shower I pondered on the past few years and what has changed... EVERYTHING!

5 years ago I was writing as an outlet for my depression. Coping with island fever in a job I hated, my husband deployed, I needed something. My rambles were much less rambling and more essay like. I wrote a lot of poetry, which I actually miss writing.

Over the years I've written less and lost a bit of my eloquence. I've taken time out to transfer, have children, live the crazy life of a stay-at-home mom. Until recently my darling children haven't afforded me the opportunity to get my thoughts out as I'd like. Little Bit is finally getting to the age where I don't have to watch her every moment. But with yet another transfer looming I don't know if I'm going to be able to devote myself to writing as I'd like.

I was thrilled when the blogging revolution took off, I saw it as a chance to get my thoughts "out there." I've wanted to be an author for some time but haven't compiled enough to submit anything. I enjoy writing short stories, children's stories (I have an entire series in my head waiting to be released), and of course, poetry. Haiku's! I love the simplicity and imagery, I'm sure it doesn't help that the first poetry contest I won was for a Haiku.

**A bit off topic but this came to me earlier**

Tear glistening down
An awaiting daughter's cheek
Father, I love you

I'm praying for you Friend!

Nursing Merriment

2010-04-17T00:20:00.007-05:00

Not all will see the humor in this but I know a couple will!

My more vivid dreams usually occur within an hour or two of my waking for the day. Sometime after Little Bit has joined us, occasionally after the sun is up and B has wondered into our room as well.

This morning I was having the strangest dream in which my left side kept leaking. I kept going about my normal dream activities but no amount of pressure stopped it, no breast pad contained it. It was so bizarre!

I eventually woke up and found, to great astonishment, Little Bit attached, nursing in her sleep! Apparently I feel asleep after she began her morning feeding.

Adventure: Imagination

2010-04-15T23:33:00.004-05:00

I had to marvel at my B's wonderfully amazing imagination this evening. I've always loved her ability to entertain herself while playing with her toys but tonight was a new high.

Recently we purchased The Princess and the Frog and of course she loves it, she's been limited to watching it not more than once a day. The majority of her pretend play has involved the characters and story line, but tonight...

The girls and I went to Target this evening. She was allowed one item from the dollar section, but she decided she'd rather spend her one dollar on a toy. So up and down each isle we went, scouring prices in attempt to find her a one dollar toy. With no success and the rest of our shopping complete we headed back to the dollar section. While she decided which pack of princess stickers she wanted, I placed a plastic sand bucket on Little Sister's head. With much delight, Big Sister decided she wanted a bucket too. With buckets in tow we purchased our wares and headed home.

Barely out of Vernon Hills I hear from the back seat, the familiar names of Tiana, Ray and the Shadow Man. I couldn't help but laugh! How on earth a plastic bucket and shovel can transform into a waitress turned princess and wicked dark magic man, I will never know.

But I know my daughter's imagination is magnificent and inspiring! I will never again look at a bucket and shovel in the same way.

My Journey: Are You The Person You Want To Be?

2010-04-13T00:24:00.005-05:00

Are you the person you want to be?

If you could have any job, what would you do?
If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
What would you wear?
Where would you vacation?

There were more questions asked by Josh's get to know yourself personal questionnaire, these are the ones I remember and am willing to share. Some of my answers were easy for me, others not so much.

I'm not the person I want to be but I feel I'm going the right direction. I feel like I'm still on my journey. God gives me little glimpses from time to time, and I know if I stay on this path there is no stopping what I can be.

My dream job is being a mother, but I never knew that until after I had my first. I can't imagine life any other way. I sometimes wonder how I did 10 years in the Navy. This is my joy.

I would live in Colorado, near my sister! My sister is my dearest friend and I miss her more than words could ever express. And I love Colorado!

I would wear, well, better fitting, more stylish clothes (less jeans). I've been needing a new wardrobe for quite some time and I'm happy to say I'll be going down a size whenever I finally go buy clothes. As for style, again, I look to my sister. I love how cute and, while her clothes aren't "trendy", they're definitely in style. I love the casual chic yet sporty look. Somewhere between Lands End and Gap, like and REI catalog.

Vacation: just about everywhere. I want to road trip to our national monuments, camp in our national parks, bike Santa Fe, go to a show in NYC, go on a cruise (several actually), Italy, Italy, Italy, all over Europe, I want to go back to Egypt, I would love to go to Israel! There are so many places I'd love to see.

I may not know who I am, but I know who I don't want to be. I don't want to be stuck in the same place, I want to be ever growing, changing. I'm a new creature, so much better than before. God has given me endless opportunities and I'm excited about this journey.

Are you the person you want to be?

Rant: Infantino, I'm disgusted!

2010-04-07T16:08:00.004-05:00

It's not often I read something and am so moved to write but it happened just now.

Read the sales pitch here

Are you kidding me? “The other mommies will hate you because of your lack of self-esteem!” This is their selling technique? Make you feel like you’re the worse mother ever so you buy their product?!

As a babywearer, I love seeing carriers go mainstream and cast in a good light. That being said I will never again buy Infantino! It my opinion (well of course It’s my opinion, it’s my blog) that all this company cares about is their bottom line. They knew there was a problem with their bag style carrier (there were plenty of complaints from concerned mamas) and it took them years to pull it. Now they’ve taken a great design, that of a standard Mai Tai carrier, and soured it by saying if you don’t wear your baby they’re going to grow up and hate you!?

I wear my children for a multitude of reasons and not one of them is so the other moms will think I’m cool.

Infantino, you should be ashamed of yourself! You’ve lost me as a customer.

p.s.
I love the warning: Never leave baby unattended.

Letters of Intent Friday: A Thank You

2010-04-02T17:45:00.001-05:00

To all the Paleo bloggers out there, THANK YOU!

When my husband changed to a Paleo diet I was, most admittedly, a bit nervous. I can completely understand giving up processed food, that made sense to me. But to give up grains and starchy vegetables, that was a bit foreign. I was intimidated by the idea of actually making all of our meals without the convenience of boxes, cans or jars. Thank you for helping to ease the process.

My sister sent me a couple links and after my first google search I discovered Marlena. Because Marlena is so good about linking recipes from other sites I've since found even more dinner ideas. Not to mention, breakfast, lunch, munchies and deserts. Thank you for your menu.

Thank you, Marlena and all of the other devoted Paleo bloggers. I don't know if I would have been able to survive this diet if it weren't for you and your amazing meals.

And a special thank you to my husband. I haven't felt this healthy in a long time and the fact that I'm loosing weight is a lovely bonus.

Adventure: Arachnid Identification Ramble

2010-04-01T23:55:00.003-05:00

While I sat here getting ready to type a tale of the fun I had today I was struck with an odd question: Do spiders hibernate?

See, I was getting ready to tell of the fun I had today and the fact that I'm happy to say I've purchased my first Miche Bag. (For my local ladies, if you're looking for a representative, check out Ashleigh.)

Some how or another I ended up in the kitchen talking to Josh when I spotted a spider and promptly squished it. Immediately after I did it I thought to ask him what kind of spider it was. I don't know if you've ever tried to identify a spider (or any bug) after you've flattened it, made it even smaller and completely disfigured it but it doesn't look much different than dirt. Lucky (can it be called luck?) I spotted another transversing my kitchen and Josh was able to see it as he squish it.

I asked what was up with the spiders and Josh hypothesized that they were coming out because it was getting warmer. When I asked why they weren't outside, he suggested that is where they were trying to go.

That's when it hit me, "What do spiders do all winter?"

After a little on line research I've learned, yes, some do hibernate and some don't live that long.

I didn't really go much further than that. I made the mistake of attempting to identify the spider I had previously annihilated and now have the creepy crawlies and keep flinching whenever I see anything out of the corner of my eye.

Do you think they know they have the power of psychological warfare?

Journey: Daily Mothering

2010-03-29T22:50:00.005-05:00

My journey as a wife and mother is different everyday!

Today was such a perfectly paced day. Throughout the day I kept thinking, that would make a good blog post and that would make a good blog post and yet here I sit, rambling. :0)

I could tell you Bear decided to climb the slide today, sure she's done it before, but today was special. Today, she discovered once she got to the top, instead of sitting there waiting for that dreaded trip to the bottom she could stand up and scare the living heck out of her mom. She seemed highly entertained with the squawk her sister made and the speed at which her mom could cross the room.

I could also tell you there seems to be a theme in the air. My dear friend Hyacynth seemed to be at odds with her 2.5 yo and I was at odds with my 3 yo.
If you've never had a 3 yo tell you you're a mean mom and I don't like you then you might not understand how your heart can break and in the exact same moment become completely irate.
It seems I was still a little on edge since yesterday when she announced, in a very angry voice, "you hit me!" Truth was, I was pulling her and her sister in wagon when we went over a bump and her head hit the plastic pole that hold the canopy on. I think it went something like this:

She: You hit me!
Me: Excuse me?
She: You hit me! {getting a little more annoyed like I didn't get what she was saying}
Me: How did I hit if I was up here pulling the wagon?
She: You hit me! I don't want you Mommy!
At this point we were in the driveway, I was a bit hurt by the last comment and a bit annoyed with her overall attitude.
Me: Fine, deal with your dad then. {and I went in the house}
A little later she apologized and we talked about how you cant just blame someone for whatever, that words can hurt, even adults. I apologized, because as Hy put it, I have a tendency to react when I should respond.
This morning, as I was trying to post a blog for How Did I Ever Live Without It? Bear wanted for me to do nothing but hold her. When she wants me off the computer she comes up and begins to take random things off my desk. Normally I can stall her by giving her a couple choice toys (my calculator or glasses holder) but this morning nothing would sooth her. When I was putting on the finishing touches, she got on my last nerve and I, quite gently actually, sat her on the floor next to my chair. She cried and B jumped up on the couch and announces, "You're a mean mommy!" I think my head collapsed onto the desk.
After a few more comments along similar lines, I had to sit B down. We've established some steps to clear up any misunderstandings. She will now tell me that she doesn't think that's very nice if she thinks I'm doing something not nice. Which worked well this evening when Bear was getting into my bag and I told her no and took it away and she cried, B spoke up and I was able to explain that Bear wasn't allowed to play with Mommy's bag.
Lately, I've been feeling like I haven't be reacting well and I haven't been the best Mommy. Thank you Hy for reminding me about the bigger picture and for letting me know I'm not the only one going through this.

I could also tell you that Bear took more steps today. It seems she is finally realizing, what we've always known, that she can actually walk if she wants to.

Or I could tell you how awesome God is and how amazing it is praying with my husband! My life is forever changed and I really wish I could share this feeling with everyone!

But I don't want to bore you with my daily details. May you have a blessed night and a wonderful week!

Journey: Writing

2010-03-24T22:03:00.004-05:00

The journey of my life and how writing effects that.

Cyril Connolly said, "It is better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

I've been having a bit of writer's block as of late. I have a few drafts but nothing to publish. My thoughts don't seem to finish and I'm left with fragments. I have this blog and contribute to two others and, unfortunately, I haven't been able to post anything on those either.

I get an idea to write but that's where it stops. Most of the time, words seem to flow from my head to my fingers without too much effort but that hasn't been the case for the past couple of weeks. Until today.

Today, right smack dab in the middle of Bible study I felt the need to write my sister, so I did, on a napkin. I'll send it to her tomorrow.
Then again this evening, I picked up my old journal. My last entry was October! But when I went to write, it was with such ease.

Writing is my therapy, my outlet, my peace. When I can't get the thoughts out I don't seem to function well in most aspects of my life. Like a stopped up drain, everything backs up, inevitably causing a dirty sink. My house is that sink.

Hopefully if I can't get the words here, I'll get them in my journal. And hopefully, I'll get caught up on my chores.

My Journey: A Simple Wish

2010-03-20T21:49:00.004-05:00

My wish for my children isn't to always get along.

It isn't that they would share all their belongings with each other.

Or even always like each other.

My wish for my children is that they would always be there for each other.

Love and trust one another.

Seek Truth, know Christ and find comfort and answers in the Word!

Adventure: 1am Wedgie Date

2010-03-17T01:32:00.004-05:00

Daylight savings (I know its daylight saving but that just sounds weird) is really throwing Bear for a loop, B's had some issues but is getting back into the swing of things. I would understand if everything were thrown off by an hour but its not, the past two nights she's wanted to nap between 7 and 8pm and not being tired for bed until after midnight.

Tonight I had some laundry to fold so I left her downstairs with her dad since B was sleeping. While I was upstairs she decided to complain quite loudly and sure enough, woke her sister. 30 minutes later I finally get her to sleep and find myself face to face with a very alert 3 year old.

Its 1am, I'm totally pooped and very ready for bed, the crazy 1 year old that had been happy and singing for the past 4 hours is finally asleep and B announces she's hungry.

With Bear in bed and Daddy heading in the same direction, B and I head downstairs for midnight snack. Its at this moment I really miss processed foods thinking how much easier it would be if we had mini bagels. We open the refrigerator and she spots a bowl of cut up oranges but since they are for WoW, I cut B her own. She decides the floor is as good a place as any to eat her "wedgies" and just as soon as I give them to her she tells me she wants to share them.

I hope and pray we have many more wedgie dates in the years to come!

Nice surprise!

2010-03-16T01:09:00.004-05:00

You know that feeling you get when you reach into the pocket of a coat you haven't worn since last winter and you find 10 bucks...

When we purchased our van we set up an automatic allotment to pay for it. The money automatically comes out of Josh's paycheck and is deposited into a checking account from which the van is paid.
When we initially set it up we rounded up.
Tonight, I found a little over $800 sitting in the account cause from us rounding up!

While I really didn't want to stay up and do finances with my hubby, I love going to bed $800 richer!

Babywearing Safety and My Friend Hy!

2010-03-09T23:59:00.004-06:00

Undercover Mother

This is my friend's blog, she is a babywearer and one of the leaders of the Lake County Babywearers, a group devoted to helping caregivers learn the art of babywearing and how it applies to their lives.

I was wanting to blog about the Infantino recall and the warnings that will soon be all over the news but, of course, Hyacynth said it more eloquently then I ever could.

So if you don't know Hyacynth or don't yet follow her blog, please let me introduce to you...

Hyacynth