I am not doing this for acknowledgement or accolades.
(I keep telling myself.)
It's OK if he doesn't notice.
But it's not OK, I want him to notice. I want him to acknowledge all the hard work I've put in. Especially since it's been a while since I've worked this hard.
But that's not OK.
That's not the right attitude, spirit.
That is not the heart of a servant.
I want to be a servant.
I want to serve my God and my husband.
I need a change of heart.
Not the typical spoken change but a divine intervention. I need, I pray for a better heart, a servant's heart. Self-serving is not what I want to be, not what I want others to see.
How can I expect to be a beacon if my soul isn't shinning.
So I will work. I will work hard. I will make this house a home. I will give my husband a place to rest, to retreat.
And I will do it with the heart of a servant.