Adventures in Parenting: Learning or Attempting To

I find myself at a loss.

It took me several years to learn how B learns and specifically, how to teach her and get her to listen.

I now find myself staring down a similar barrel with Bear. I'm learning, quickly, what doesn't work. While positive reenforcement motivates B, Bear could care less.

I would rather support than punish but my goodness, I can not get that kid to listen! She takes selective hearing to a whole new level. I'm to the point I'm going to have her hearing checked to rule out actual hearing loss.

So tonight I begin my research for how to learn how my child learns. Any recommendations are very welcome, weather it be books or techniques, this is my plea for help!