Monday, May 31, 2010

My Journey: The Closing of a Chapter

It is often said when you make a big move that you are beginning a new chapter of your life. I very much am, but a more important chapter ended in Great Lakes.

While we were living there I came back to Christ. I say "I came back" because He never left me! I have been in His grasp without really knowing it. No, I knew. I've never felt abandoned by God, I've always know that it was I who left. But here I am, a whole new woman, changed by the grace of God!

I arrived in Great Lakes scared, knowing no one, lonely, and 7 months pregnant with little to no self confidence. I left a totally different person. And while I never believed a person was capable of change, I did in fact change. The way I think, process information, the way I feel, it's all changed. I have changed! But I know I didn't change me, it was not a do-it-yourself book that lead me to my new life. It was Christ!

2Cor 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the has come!"

I now know you don't just change when you're all new. Someone looking at me isn't going to say "hey look, she was saved yesterday." We're still human, still have to fight sin and temptation. Yes, every once in a while I slip and curse or judge someone, the difference is now, I know God has forgiven me, He doesn't keep a record of my wrongs, why should I?! I strive to live by example, be a light, show others the glory of God. Living a good life, doing right, being a good wife and mother, friend and sister is not easy, but with Jesus by my side, lighting the way...

I believe and I make an effort to be better. I think I am better, better than the immature, scared girl I was when I moved there. The long chapter of my being alone is ending and something so much better is beginning.

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm Allowing Myself to Grieve.

With the looming transfer I've been sad.

Sad that I'm leaving
Sad that my daughter is leaving her friends
Sad that she most likely wont be able to dance for a while
Sad that we're leaving the house where we became a family of four
where both girls learned to walk
Sad to leave our amazing church
such amazing people

Sad to leave my friends
Amazing women who've stood by me through deployments
Held my hand during tough times
Prayed with me and for me
Laughed with me
Loved me

I'm sad and I'm okay.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

In Need of... Something!

I feel lost.
Call it writers block or loss of inspiration, depression brought on by the looming move.
Whatever it is, I've lost my words. Inspirational ideas in my head are fleeting, I don't even have time to get them on paper before they've become jumbled with everything else in my head.

Maybe if I read something I can find inspiration, get my head on straight. Except lately, I haven't made the time to read. Tonight I will go to bed early (I'm sorry Facebook, you'll have to go on without me) and I will read, something!

I need some motivation. Thank you Hyacynth for linking to Meagan, I'm looking forward to a creative kick start.

boot camp

Monday, May 17, 2010

8, Really?!

So much to do so little time, or so it seems. I know God is good and He will get us through this transfer but it's easy to get wrapped up in the moment, get stressed and wonder how it's ever going to get done.

This will be my eighth PCS (Permanent Change of Station) move. 8! Wow! 8 moves in 15 years, this doesn't count the house to house moves within the same area. If I included those, I've moved... (just a moment, I'm counting...) Oh my goodness, 16 times!!

The big upside is the Navy will move you, pack you up and ship you. That one huge burden off my shoulders. Our biggest prep for moving is going through everything and getting rid of everything we don't need or just don't want to move (again).

As life is getting a bit hectic, please forgive me for not blogging more.

Monday, May 3, 2010

House Hunting Humor

We spent last week in Mississippi and Louisiana house hunting. I wanted to share some random thoughts and fun stories.

Walmarts being cheep stores filled with odd people is a myth perpetuated by the North. Down South, they take their Walmarts seriously! They are nice, clean and laid out well.

Playing singing games, spotting water towers and barns and playing travel hide and go seek with a preschooler beats a DVD player any day. Just be prepared to hand toys off quite often as they seem to bore quickly.

Prayer works! (This is going to have to be it's own blog because I have two great stories to share!)

After making the mistake on the last road trip we made sure to remember to bring the battery charger for the camera. And yes, we even took the camera... we just forgot to use it most of the time. I did get a couple pictures at the pool.

If you know you're going to have to put a deposit down on a place, make sure you have your checkbook.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Being Moved

Today I was moved by a song.

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

I remembered the first time I attended Immanuel, a little nervous being somewhere new. Standing next to my friend quietly singing along with songs I had never heard.

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

It had been some time since I had been to a church and felt moved. I found myself swaying to the beat, lifted by the songs.

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

When some of the people raised their hands in the air I was a bit worried, was this THAT kind of church?

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

I regained my faith at Immanuel. Dedicated my children in the sanctuary, prayed for my husband, our lives. I met new people, loved new friends. Found me in my search for Christ.

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

The family I found at Immanuel changed my life.

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

But what about those people singing with their hands in the air?

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

I'm one of them. Moved by the Spirit, loving the music, hands above my head. Unapologetically, loving the Lord!

(Hillsong United - The Stand)