Monday, March 29, 2010

Journey: Daily Mothering

My journey as a wife and mother is different everyday!

Today was such a perfectly paced day. Throughout the day I kept thinking, that would make a good blog post and that would make a good blog post and yet here I sit, rambling. :0)

I could tell you Bear decided to climb the slide today, sure she's done it before, but today was special. Today, she discovered once she got to the top, instead of sitting there waiting for that dreaded trip to the bottom she could stand up and scare the living heck out of her mom. She seemed highly entertained with the squawk her sister made and the speed at which her mom could cross the room.

I could also tell you there seems to be a theme in the air. My dear friend Hyacynth seemed to be at odds with her 2.5 yo and I was at odds with my 3 yo.
If you've never had a 3 yo tell you you're a mean mom and I don't like you then you might not understand how your heart can break and in the exact same moment become completely irate.
It seems I was still a little on edge since yesterday when she announced, in a very angry voice, "you hit me!" Truth was, I was pulling her and her sister in wagon when we went over a bump and her head hit the plastic pole that hold the canopy on. I think it went something like this:
She: You hit me!
Me: Excuse me?
She: You hit me! {getting a little more annoyed like I didn't get what she was saying}
Me: How did I hit if I was up here pulling the wagon?
She: You hit me! I don't want you Mommy!
At this point we were in the driveway, I was a bit hurt by the last comment and a bit annoyed with her overall attitude.
Me: Fine, deal with your dad then. {and I went in the house}
A little later she apologized and we talked about how you cant just blame someone for whatever, that words can hurt, even adults. I apologized, because as Hy put it, I have a tendency to react when I should respond.
This morning, as I was trying to post a blog for How Did I Ever Live Without It? Bear wanted for me to do nothing but hold her. When she wants me off the computer she comes up and begins to take random things off my desk. Normally I can stall her by giving her a couple choice toys (my calculator or glasses holder) but this morning nothing would sooth her. When I was putting on the finishing touches, she got on my last nerve and I, quite gently actually, sat her on the floor next to my chair. She cried and B jumped up on the couch and announces, "You're a mean mommy!" I think my head collapsed onto the desk.
After a few more comments along similar lines, I had to sit B down. We've established some steps to clear up any misunderstandings. She will now tell me that she doesn't think that's very nice if she thinks I'm doing something not nice. Which worked well this evening when Bear was getting into my bag and I told her no and took it away and she cried, B spoke up and I was able to explain that Bear wasn't allowed to play with Mommy's bag.
Lately, I've been feeling like I haven't be reacting well and I haven't been the best Mommy. Thank you Hy for reminding me about the bigger picture and for letting me know I'm not the only one going through this.

I could also tell you that Bear took more steps today. It seems she is finally realizing, what we've always known, that she can actually walk if she wants to.

Or I could tell you how awesome God is and how amazing it is praying with my husband! My life is forever changed and I really wish I could share this feeling with everyone!

But I don't want to bore you with my daily details. May you have a blessed night and a wonderful week!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Journey: Writing

The journey of my life and how writing effects that.

Cyril Connolly said, "It is better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

I've been having a bit of writer's block as of late. I have a few drafts but nothing to publish. My thoughts don't seem to finish and I'm left with fragments. I have this blog and contribute to two others and, unfortunately, I haven't been able to post anything on those either.

I get an idea to write but that's where it stops. Most of the time, words seem to flow from my head to my fingers without too much effort but that hasn't been the case for the past couple of weeks. Until today.

Today, right smack dab in the middle of Bible study I felt the need to write my sister, so I did, on a napkin. I'll send it to her tomorrow.
Then again this evening, I picked up my old journal. My last entry was October! But when I went to write, it was with such ease.

Writing is my therapy, my outlet, my peace. When I can't get the thoughts out I don't seem to function well in most aspects of my life. Like a stopped up drain, everything backs up, inevitably causing a dirty sink. My house is that sink.

Hopefully if I can't get the words here, I'll get them in my journal. And hopefully, I'll get caught up on my chores.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

My Journey: A Simple Wish

My wish for my children isn't to always get along.

It isn't that they would share all their belongings with each other.

Or even always like each other.

My wish for my children is that they would always be there for each other.

Love and trust one another.

Seek Truth, know Christ and find comfort and answers in the Word!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Adventure: 1am Wedgie Date

Daylight savings (I know its daylight saving but that just sounds weird) is really throwing Bear for a loop, B's had some issues but is getting back into the swing of things. I would understand if everything were thrown off by an hour but its not, the past two nights she's wanted to nap between 7 and 8pm and not being tired for bed until after midnight.

Tonight I had some laundry to fold so I left her downstairs with her dad since B was sleeping. While I was upstairs she decided to complain quite loudly and sure enough, woke her sister. 30 minutes later I finally get her to sleep and find myself face to face with a very alert 3 year old.

Its 1am, I'm totally pooped and very ready for bed, the crazy 1 year old that had been happy and singing for the past 4 hours is finally asleep and B announces she's hungry.

With Bear in bed and Daddy heading in the same direction, B and I head downstairs for midnight snack. Its at this moment I really miss processed foods thinking how much easier it would be if we had mini bagels. We open the refrigerator and she spots a bowl of cut up oranges but since they are for WoW, I cut B her own. She decides the floor is as good a place as any to eat her "wedgies" and just as soon as I give them to her she tells me she wants to share them.

I hope and pray we have many more wedgie dates in the years to come!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Nice surprise!

You know that feeling you get when you reach into the pocket of a coat you haven't worn since last winter and you find 10 bucks...

When we purchased our van we set up an automatic allotment to pay for it. The money automatically comes out of Josh's paycheck and is deposited into a checking account from which the van is paid.
When we initially set it up we rounded up.
Tonight, I found a little over $800 sitting in the account cause from us rounding up!

While I really didn't want to stay up and do finances with my hubby, I love going to bed $800 richer!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Babywearing Safety and My Friend Hy!

Undercover Mother

This is my friend's blog, she is a babywearer and one of the leaders of the Lake County Babywearers, a group devoted to helping caregivers learn the art of babywearing and how it applies to their lives.

I was wanting to blog about the Infantino recall and the warnings that will soon be all over the news but, of course, Hyacynth said it more eloquently then I ever could.

So if you don't know Hyacynth or don't yet follow her blog, please let me introduce to you...


Ramble: Facebook toxic?

The enemy is stalking me on facebook.

I can be having a great day, feeling good about myself, my family, my faith, then I log on facebook and the doubts sink in. Why didn't I get invited? Why isn't he replying to my wall post? Why, why, why! I HATE THIS FEELING!

I know everyone has different priorities and I don't judge others for theirs (okay, to be completely honest, sometimes I do). But I cant presume to know what is going on in someones day but sometimes when I log onto FB that's exactly what I do!

There are times it feels like evil is trying sneak in wherever it can, like the way an animal bolts out of the front door when you leave it open just a little too long.

I love being able to keep up with people I haven't talked to in years and I LOVE being able to stay involved with my friends that I used to see everyday. FB helps me to feel more connected to others around me. Then other times it just feels TOXIC!

I know this says more about me than anyone else, it goes directly to my state of mind. Just like a comedy isn't as funny if you go into it in a bad mood. And maybe I haven't been in a real bright place lately... I haven't been sleeping well, had a 24 hour migraine, and I really felt hung out to dry recently.

I'm really not sure where to go from here. This is turning into more of a ramble than I had intended. I had a point but lost it somewhere.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Surprise: Hooray!

A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,
"Hosanna to the Son of David!"
"Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!"
"Hosanna in the highest!"
(Matthew 21:8-9)

"Hooray! Hooray! Jesus is our King today!"
(Brenna and the other MOPS kids)

Today at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) we got such a lovely surprise: they brought, not quite all, the kids up to sing for us. They marched in waving palm branches, holding little signs and saying, "hooray, hooray, Jesus is our King today!" It was absolutely precious. All the kiddies got up on the stage and then they sang us a song, of which I've already forgotten. But it was cute none the less.
It was great! I was so proud of my little girl. I don't know what I was expecting but she marched in and gave me a kiss (I was sitting in the marching path), stood up there and sang and then gave me a kiss on the way out. I don't know if I was thinking she'd want to stay with me or if she'd mess around on the stage but she didn't do either. She looked like such a big little kid. Like she's growing up or something.