The Sunday Creative: Spiral, Oh My Soul!

I know I've been a bit absent and I have a couple blogs planned for some time this week, but after reading today's prompt at The Sunday Creative, I knew I had to write tonight.



Spiral

I'm too tired to pick up tonight
This is the first time I've sat down today
I've been in that kitchen all evening

I'll straighten it up later
I'll do dishes in the morning
The dust isn't going anywhere

Not wanting to clean
Not wanting to cook

So tired
So very tired
Oh, my soul

Excuses, excuses

I can feel myself falling
deeper and deeper into a sea of self pity
depression
despair

If only I could sleep
I would be a better mom with a full night's rest
sleep
no sleep
Oh, my soul

Stress unvented
Worry pent up

Help needed
I know not how

A long week
Oh, my soul

******

Last week, if I sat still long enough, closed my eyes, I could actually feel my little world spiraling further and further away from comfort and control. My husband's one week absence threw me for a loop, I didn't see it coming even though his trip had been planned. I lost my grip and for a few days forgot my normal coping mechanisms. I spent more time praying for his safety and forgot about my own sanity. Thinking praying meant not worrying and discovering I was wrong. I forgot to let go and let God. He told me not to worry, He told me He was in control. I didn't listen.

Oh, my soul!