I'm feeling a bit disconnected again. I go through this every once in a while. Life catches up with us and we don't get to see people as often as we'd like or make the calls that we know would cheer us up.
I feel like I haven't seen my friends in ages even though I saw most of this morning at MOPS. I didn't really visit and it's probably a good thing, I was in a dark mood today and hopefully it didn't rub off on anyone.
The day started off well enough, got up and weighed myself. I'm 4/10 of a pound from reaching my first goal (I set them in increments so I feel I'm achieving something). Feeling motivated from my little weight loss, I knocked out my 4 burpee for the 100 burpee challenge. Woke up Big Bit, got dressed, all was going well until...
The Big Fit!
I should have stuck with my threat of staying home but I really felt I needed to go to MOPS and that if I stayed home with Little Miss Cranky Pants I would have just gotten more annoyed. But I didn't and off we went to MOPS with one cranky kid, one annoyed mom and one very nonchalant child (she had food, she was good). Even at MOPS it continued, when I went to drop off B she didn't want to go in that room. When I got upstairs I was feeling a little better. I had some great conversations but others felt forced, I was trying to listen and pay attention but it just wasn't happening. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation while someone was talking to someone else right behind you about something totally different?! I felt distracted. I wanted to be cheerful but it just wasn't happening, I wanted to leave early then I had the perfect out, Josh locked himself out, he forgot to grab the garage door remote when he dropped the Jeep off to be repaired. Oh a high note, apparently Paige played for a while in the nursery.
The rest of the day stayed very blah. Josh had a meeting and wasn't able to come home for dinner, Paige took a late afternoon nap so I didn't get to take it with her, which would have been nice today. So all in all, I've had a cranky day, myself.
But back to my disconnection...
I don't know if I'm subconsciencly pushing away some of my friends since I know we'll be moving in 6 or 7 months or if they're pushing me away for the same reason. I've noticed I don't pick up the phone and call as many friends lately but I'm also noticing others aren't calling me either.
(That sounded a lot like a pity party, oh well)
Well, I've rambled on for long enough. I'm off to watch the end of the men's skating, I hope we're able to pull off a gold!
Feeling all alone
The silence is defining
Be with me, oh God
(It's just a poem, I'm feeling more disconnected than alone and I'll probably be fine tomorrow. I just needed to vent)