I'm feeling a bit disconnected again. I go through this every once in a while. Life catches up with us and we don't get to see people as often as we'd like or make the calls that we know would cheer us up.
I feel like I haven't seen my friends in ages even though I saw most of this morning at MOPS. I didn't really visit and it's probably a good thing, I was in a dark mood today and hopefully it didn't rub off on anyone.
The day started off well enough, got up and weighed myself. I'm 4/10 of a pound from reaching my first goal (I set them in increments so I feel I'm achieving something). Feeling motivated from my little weight loss, I knocked out my 4 burpee for the 100 burpee challenge. Woke up Big Bit, got dressed, all was going well until...
The Big Fit!
I should have stuck with my threat of staying home but I really felt I needed to go to MOPS and that if I stayed home with Little Miss Cranky Pants I would have just gotten more annoyed. But I didn't and off we went to MOPS with one cranky kid, one annoyed mom and one very nonchalant child (she had food, she was good). Even at MOPS it continued, when I went to drop off B she didn't want to go in that room. When I got upstairs I was feeling a little better. I had some great conversations but others felt forced, I was trying to listen and pay attention but it just wasn't happening. Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation while someone was talking to someone else right behind you about something totally different?! I felt distracted. I wanted to be cheerful but it just wasn't happening, I wanted to leave early then I had the perfect out, Josh locked himself out, he forgot to grab the garage door remote when he dropped the Jeep off to be repaired. Oh a high note, apparently Paige played for a while in the nursery.
The rest of the day stayed very blah. Josh had a meeting and wasn't able to come home for dinner, Paige took a late afternoon nap so I didn't get to take it with her, which would have been nice today. So all in all, I've had a cranky day, myself.
But back to my disconnection...
I don't know if I'm subconsciencly pushing away some of my friends since I know we'll be moving in 6 or 7 months or if they're pushing me away for the same reason. I've noticed I don't pick up the phone and call as many friends lately but I'm also noticing others aren't calling me either.
(That sounded a lot like a pity party, oh well)
Well, I've rambled on for long enough. I'm off to watch the end of the men's skating, I hope we're able to pull off a gold!
Feeling all alone
The silence is defining
Be with me, oh God
(It's just a poem, I'm feeling more disconnected than alone and I'll probably be fine tomorrow. I just needed to vent)
It's this winter, it drags on and on and we're not outside enjoying the sunshine. You are not alone in this feeling in the least bit.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the hugs yesterday Rose, I had a horrible night before and after MOPS I went home and took a 4 hour nap and was back in bed at 10 pm. I was so physically and mentally drained yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI am sure that part of the problem is winter and part is your moving... I find myself disconnecting when I am ready to transfer too and this weather just doesn't let you get out and have any fun.
Martha and I had a day of that too! I'm reading a mommy devotional that's covering love a lot the last few weeks...oh how I wonder how God puts up with us...as i feel like a temper tantrum throwing child too often by late afternoon!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Rose. I hope today is a better day! I miss you!
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