Monday, March 29, 2010

Journey: Daily Mothering

My journey as a wife and mother is different everyday!

Today was such a perfectly paced day. Throughout the day I kept thinking, that would make a good blog post and that would make a good blog post and yet here I sit, rambling. :0)

I could tell you Bear decided to climb the slide today, sure she's done it before, but today was special. Today, she discovered once she got to the top, instead of sitting there waiting for that dreaded trip to the bottom she could stand up and scare the living heck out of her mom. She seemed highly entertained with the squawk her sister made and the speed at which her mom could cross the room.

I could also tell you there seems to be a theme in the air. My dear friend Hyacynth seemed to be at odds with her 2.5 yo and I was at odds with my 3 yo.
If you've never had a 3 yo tell you you're a mean mom and I don't like you then you might not understand how your heart can break and in the exact same moment become completely irate.
It seems I was still a little on edge since yesterday when she announced, in a very angry voice, "you hit me!" Truth was, I was pulling her and her sister in wagon when we went over a bump and her head hit the plastic pole that hold the canopy on. I think it went something like this:
She: You hit me!
Me: Excuse me?
She: You hit me! {getting a little more annoyed like I didn't get what she was saying}
Me: How did I hit if I was up here pulling the wagon?
She: You hit me! I don't want you Mommy!
At this point we were in the driveway, I was a bit hurt by the last comment and a bit annoyed with her overall attitude.
Me: Fine, deal with your dad then. {and I went in the house}
A little later she apologized and we talked about how you cant just blame someone for whatever, that words can hurt, even adults. I apologized, because as Hy put it, I have a tendency to react when I should respond.
This morning, as I was trying to post a blog for How Did I Ever Live Without It? Bear wanted for me to do nothing but hold her. When she wants me off the computer she comes up and begins to take random things off my desk. Normally I can stall her by giving her a couple choice toys (my calculator or glasses holder) but this morning nothing would sooth her. When I was putting on the finishing touches, she got on my last nerve and I, quite gently actually, sat her on the floor next to my chair. She cried and B jumped up on the couch and announces, "You're a mean mommy!" I think my head collapsed onto the desk.
After a few more comments along similar lines, I had to sit B down. We've established some steps to clear up any misunderstandings. She will now tell me that she doesn't think that's very nice if she thinks I'm doing something not nice. Which worked well this evening when Bear was getting into my bag and I told her no and took it away and she cried, B spoke up and I was able to explain that Bear wasn't allowed to play with Mommy's bag.
Lately, I've been feeling like I haven't be reacting well and I haven't been the best Mommy. Thank you Hy for reminding me about the bigger picture and for letting me know I'm not the only one going through this.

I could also tell you that Bear took more steps today. It seems she is finally realizing, what we've always known, that she can actually walk if she wants to.

Or I could tell you how awesome God is and how amazing it is praying with my husband! My life is forever changed and I really wish I could share this feeling with everyone!

But I don't want to bore you with my daily details. May you have a blessed night and a wonderful week!

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