Clutter Not Clearly Defined

My house is a junk drawer!

Everyone has a dirty little secret. Whether it be a drawer in the kitchen or a shelf in the garage. Everyone has that hiding place to put things that have no other clearly defined home.

That is currently my home! Clutter not clearly defined.

My only exception is the kitchen/dining room, but we'll have to get back to that.

I received an email from a friend of mine who moved shortly after we did. She was so excited that she was all moved in, had already had house guests and had been out doing things and making friends.

This was a bit on an eye opener. Quite honestly the kick in the pants I needed. Not that its a competition and I can guarantee she was not trying to boast. But to know someone else has done it quicker while facing many of the same obstacles (two young kids can really make things a bit more difficult). She survived and is thriving, so can I!

So I have officially made myself some goals. I am listing them here in effort to hold myself accountable.

Day 1 (Thursday, July 29)- Unpack Sun room. The sun room is currently (and will remain) our family room. Mine and Josh's computers are out here, the kids have their toys out here and it's also the home of my crafting stuff. The crafting stuff holds the biggest burden, but I will get it sorted and, if needs be, thrown out.

Day 2 - The Girl's room. Their room doesn't really need much. A couple boxes need to be unpacked and I want to hang their curtains, granted, this means I have to locate the hardware for the curtain rod because the movers didn't bundle them together. Wall hangings wont be completed until I get a chance to buy some shelves.

Day 3 - Our room. Two boxes remain and I have to figure out where I want a couple pieces of furniture located.

That puts me into next week as I am not scheduling unpacking for Sunday although I probably will get some done.

Next week I'll be able to focus on the spare room which holds boxes from the kids playroom and our storage room from the last house. Most of the contents from those boxes actually needs to be sorted and trashed!

My true goal to getting all of this done is to be able to invite someone over for a play date. I've met some other moms, exchanged phone numbers but no play dates have been made. When my house is clean enough for quests I wont hesitate to invite other's over.

But not just yet, not until the junk drawer is back in it's little basket at the top of the pantry.

Bigger Picture Moment: Boxes

Looking at the boxes still lingering in my home fills me with bit of apprehension. So much work held within each one.

And where I used to look at unpacking in a positive light, feeling like Christmas, wondering what treasures would be found in each box, this move has left me wanting. So many things broken, boxes mislabeled, items still missing.

I normally would enjoy putting my personal touch on our house, making it OUR home. I now wish I had a magical wand so it would just be finished.

*****



Forts, tables, hiding places...

My girls are seeing something far different that what my eyes focus on.

B can look at a box and see a spaceship or car.

"It's a cave," she tells me as she peeks her head out from underneath.



"What is it now?" I ask as she crawls in. "It's a bathtub Mommy," as if I should have known just by looking at it.

My Journey: Depression

While reading this post last night I became emotional. I bawled, I cried and I cried, then found myself crying some more.

I didn't fully realize where I was until I read it in someone else's words.

I am drowning.

The truth is, for some time now, every day has been a struggle. Each day I wake up I wonder if I'll sink or swim. I know someone out there is thinking, "simply choose to swim." But it's not that easy when depression is looming just beneath the surface.

Having a history of depression I can usually see the warning signs: lack of motivation, quick to temper, sadness, etc. These signs have been prevalent lately and I've been trying to stave off this funk. Yet, here I am again, back in the water, struggling to find my footing.

In this water (aka depression, funk, whatever) is not where I want to be. I don't like who I become when I'm fighting for air. And the worse part is that it affects my family.

When I'm tired I don't want to play with my girls. My tolerance for, well, everything is lowered. I overreact to the smallest problem, often snapping at my precious babies. They don't know what's wrong with Mommy, so they begin to walk on eggshells and avoid me. This, of course, breaks my heart and worsens the depression as I'm wracked with guilt.

It's a vicious cycle.

The way I treat my husband is just shameful.

At my worse, I ended up on meds. I couldn't get out of that funk on my own.

My lifelines have come in many forms, my sister, my husband, my friends, my kids, my God! Usually one of the previous has to remind me to turn to Christ.

Just this week I received two life lines I wasn't expecting. The first came in the form of my pastor, simply reminding me I am NEVER alone!

The second was Hyacynth's post. It opened my eyes to see the water around me. I think I've been struggling to swim since I've been here in Mississippi but haven't wanted to admit it.

So tonight as I finish this post I will admit, I'm in the water! But I'm not alone. While my feet still aren't on solid ground I do have a few floaties and a life vest is within my reach.

Military Moment: Separation

My friend is missing her husband and my heart is breaking for her. They're not a military family, not accustomed to regular absences. Even a short trip is a big deal.

She got me thinking...

As a military family, separation is a way of life (that and constantly moving), not something you like but a necessary evil you accept. You have to learn to adapt to life as a single parent, kissing all the boo boo's, quelling all their fears, all the while trying to quell your own. Keeping a strong facade, constantly checking email and fearing any missed call.

Non-military families ask how you do it, you lie and say it gets easier with time.

Yes, I said "lie."

Truth be told it never gets easier! You just tell others that, tell yourself, hoping to one day believe it.

But you never miss him less, eight days or eight months, it still sucks.

I suppose you kinda get used to it after a while. You find a routine, find ways to make the time go by faster.

And there is one really great upside. The first kiss, all of them. Whether standing on a pier or in the terminal of an airport, there is nothing like Homecoming.

Butterflies in the pit of your stomach, you strain to find him among the crowd. Your heart beating faster as you catch a glimpse, when his eyes meet yours, your heart stops. By the time he reaches you, your eyes are filled with tears, your heart if filled with joy and the world stands still while you're locked in his embrace.

The Pampered Chef and My First Giveaway

I am having an on line Pampered Chef Show! And in honor of said show, I am giving away a Pampered Chef product!

There are two ways to earn entries. You can get one entry for being a follower of my blog and leaving a comment on this post, and you can earn two more entries by placing an order on my show. One winner will be picked at random upon the closure of the party on July 31, 2010.

I had a hard time deciding which product to give away. I wanted to give something I love, a tool my kitchen couldn't live without. So I've narrowed it down to two. The winner will choose either a new Mix 'N Chop or a new Garlic Press.

And if that wasn't enough, if you buy $60.00 worth of product you get two free seasoning rubs of your choice.

To shop on line and place an order click here or go to Kamryn's web site and enter my name as the hostess.

Happy Shopping!

If you would rather, you can also place your order to Kamryn directly. Her contact information is on her site.

I'm a Winner!

Yesterday I was awarded the Cherry On Top Award by my dear friend Ally. The rules are simple: thank the person who awarded you, list three things you love about yourself and pass the award on to five others.

So, without further ado.

Thank you, Ally! You are a wonderful, dear friend. You honor me so.

Now, three things I love about myself...

1. I love that I'm a work in progress. On the days where I think I'm a bad mom, wife, friend, etc. I know God is making me better. And the more I seek Him, the better of a person I become.

2. I love that I have the ability to learn from my mistakes. And boy have I made a few. I even learn from other's mistakes at times.

3. I love the way I think. It doesn't often make it to the paper (or screen) but I think poetically. The words flow through my head, drifting in and out of writings that will some day be, or so I hope.


My Five Winners Are:

Hyacynth at Undercover Mother
Diana at Little Pieces of Me
Robin at The Misadventures of Jack and Luke
Kamryn at All Pop No Corn
Marlena at Marlena's Menu

The Sunday Creative: Connect

Connect



We connected right from the start!

A strong friendship lasting not only time but miles. We were friends before internet and email. When phone calls and written letters had to suffice. When news wasn't usually delivered quickly.


After I moved away we didn't talk often (calls from overseas can get expensive), but when we did it took but a moment for us to catch up and fall into light-hearted, easy conversation.


She scrapbooks, and makes amazing pages! She's creative and modest! She's made art for my walls, baby books for both of my girls.


It has been too many years since we've seen each other. We've never met each other's children, yet I feel as if I know them, they are a part of my family. We've had to watch each other from the sidelines but we've grow together through pictures.


We've been through separate spiritual journeys but knowing that we'll get to spend eternity together warms my heart.


She is my sister in Christ, the family I've chosen.


She's my Diana!


With whom I will always be able to connect!









(Diana, I love your work and am honored you add me and think of me. I love you, I miss you!)


Check out Diana's work for yourself.

The Sunday Creative: Denim

As I loved Creative Bootcamp, I am thrilled to share with your more genius from our Coach, Maegan. She is helping us to continue nurturing our artistic spirit by providing word prompts each weak and giving us a place to link them up and share. This is The Sunday Creative.




Denim

The worse pants I could imagine.

Why would people buy clothes already ripped and torn?

Brand new they already looked trashed.

But he likes them.

They do look good on him.

Can I tolerate them?

Not be embarrassed to be seen with them in public?

He does look good in them.

He seems to really like them.

"Buttons and birds" He tells me.

I look, none of the buttons match.

How interesting.

Near the pocket, an amazing embroidered bird.

A representation of Isaiah 40:31 maybe?

Buttons and birds...

He found something about these hideous jeans I would love.

Buttons and birds...

Years later when I'm having a hard time seeing the good he reminds me,

"Buttons and Birds, Babe!"

Bigger Picture Moment: Heart of a Servant

The lovely ladies at Bigger Picture Blogs welcome you to take a step back, look at your life and find the role faith has played in your day, in your everyday. They've also provided a link up so you can share your Bigger Picture Moment with others. If you have some time, take a peek into so other's moments.





I am not doing this for acknowledgement or accolades.

(I keep telling myself.)

It's OK if he doesn't notice.

But it's not OK, I want him to notice. I want him to acknowledge all the hard work I've put in. Especially since it's been a while since I've worked this hard.

But that's not OK.

That's not the right attitude, spirit.

That is not the heart of a servant.

I want to be a servant.

I want to serve my God and my husband.

I need a change of heart.

Not the typical spoken change but a divine intervention. I need, I pray for a better heart, a servant's heart. Self-serving is not what I want to be, not what I want others to see.

How can I expect to be a beacon if my soul isn't shinning.

So I will work. I will work hard. I will make this house a home. I will give my husband a place to rest, to retreat.

And I will do it with the heart of a servant.

Happy Momma Moment: Speaking In Hushed Tones

One day while attempting to nurse my Bear down for her nap, B walked in and in a very failed attempt at a whisper asked what I was doing. You see, she did, in fact, change the tone of her voice sounding like she was whispering but her volume remained unchanged resulting in loud, raspy sound.

I was so pleased she recognized the need for a lowered voice.

And in that moment I began to think of all the other wonderful times in my life that where spoken in hushed tones.

Whispering sweet nothings, plans for a quick rendezvous.

Disagreeing under our breath.

Quietly scolding while in public.

Simply conversing while trying not to wake a sleeping babe.

I often try to keep the peace in my house by simply keeping my volume low. A trick my mother taught me which works on most adults: As they raise their voice, you lower yours so they have to be quiet to hear you.